19/06/2012

Who is really in the mirror?*

Posted in Encouragement, General, Musings, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 7:10 pm by The Water Bearer

I read a post recently by a fabulous writer who I have found in the blogosphere. Author Jodi Ambrose was talking about her recent birthday and reflected on her youth by listing her traits at 20 years old. You can read her excellent blog post ­here. I enjoyed Jodi’s blog so much that we began exchanging comments. One thing we have both found to be a true blessing, along with spiritual faith, is self-awareness. It is one of the most important things we need to achieve growth and inner peace in this life, and something I write about often.

After our little ‘comment swap’ I began to think about those who may not have as much self-awareness as others. It got me thinking about those people who haven’t changed much over the years, and are still stuck in the same old patterns they have always been.

I read a little something recently, it said:

“If you are the same person, with the same perspective you had a decade ago; then you have just wasted ten years of your life!”

Before I gained some Godly self-awareness, I thought I was self-aware. I thought I was a ‘good person’. I prided myself on having good intentions and wisdom. My heart was in the right place (or so I thought), I knew the difference between right and wrong (or so I thought), and I was a good friend and family member (or so I thought).

Back then I had no regrets, I had no lingering, self-conscious guilt, because I always had a very good explanation for my actions. It was usually something like, “I meant well”, “I felt ….”, “I’m only human”, or “I had no choice” (because of what someone else did first).

I had little or no remorse for my own actions, (unless of course I got hurt in the fallout). I never set out to hurt anyone,  and if I did hurt someone else, I found a way to believe I was right, and that made it ok with me. I saw no reason to change, I was onto it (or so I thought). I used my excuses, and understanding to stay in my own spiraling cycle.

When I became aware of how God saw things, it smacked me in the face and it hurt!

I was SELFISH! I saw things from my way and didn’t consider that perhaps there was a better way. Sure I was always rushing to help people, I was thoughtful and did kind deeds all the time. I tried to find ways to show my affection for others so that they would know how much I thought of them. But I didn’t realise that I was really only doing it to be seen as a good person, not because I was actually a good person. I couldn’t admit the truth to myself so I figured all the trials of life were not lessons I had to learn, just tests to see if I was strong enough and if I could keep my faith through them.

Life will do it’s best to help us become aware of ourselves, and if we stop avoiding it we will be amazed by the realisation. And while it is a challenge to work hard and break the cycles you have been stuck in your whole life, it is definately worth it.

In a recent therapy session we were discussing the downfalls of having no self-awareness. My therapist put it this way “If you don’t regret your actions that affected yourself or others in a negative way, then you avoid the reasoning to need to repair the situation, and refuse to take a realistic look at yourself and make necessary changes.” In other words, these people can’t apologise without explaining why they aren’t really to blame, and they don’t see the need to alter the way they handle things.

He also said that “People who excuse their own actions and don’t own up to the pain they caused another, will continue to hurt others and will usually end up very lonely, they will also wonder why”.

How sad is that! Out of a lack of self-awareness we can damage our relationships so badly, and some will never find the inner peace of growth, or a new perspective and the truth about themselves. It may leave them without a clue as to why they feel isolated from others. We can easily blame everyone else yet we refuse to accept blame ourselves, it would simply be more productive if we swallowed our pride and took a good look in the mirror. That is the only area of our lives that we can bring about a true transformation.

The serenity prayer is one commonly found in households all over the world. It aims to tackle this self-awareness problem. We need the courage to face ourselves head on, to see the truth about ourselves and make the adjustments necessary to bring about a change in our lives, one we will never regret.

“God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

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15 Comments »

  1. Talei said,

    beautifully written as always my girl, it is something i am trying to deal with now, am startin therapy after my last self realization and getting new medication.. everyone who knows me is now clapping saying thank god for that!! lol but its your words and wisdom that has finally led me here and for that i thank you and the Lord xoxox

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    • Honey I am so thrilled for you to find the ability to look in the mirror and make the changes only you can! Well done on having the courage to be honest with yourself, the strength to apply change and the humility of your faith. Sending much love & blessings your way! xxxxx

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  2. Wonderful post. I really enjoy them. I was thinking that I had to learn how to not do this so much. I condemned myself to no end, but now I have peace because I know God is in control and he will use my mistakes for something great.

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    • Yes Sab I tend to go too far the other way now also. I think then main thing is to keep up our guard as the enemy can use God’s methods to destroy us if we let him. Self-awareness can easily become self-condemnation. We must find a balance and have good councellors to remind us if we go too far either way. Thanks for the comment, fabulous point. 🙂

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  3. What an absolutely beautiful post. Have I told you how glad I am that we met? 🙂 Thank you for the wonderful words. I hope 10,000,000 people read this as I know it would help them greatly.

    Also, thank you so much for the kind acknowledgement. That was so very, very sweet of you.

    XOXOXOXO

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    • Sweet Jodie, I am truly glad we met also! Thank you for your lovely comment here. You are very welcome and deserve to be acknowledged. Thank you so much for the inspiration and your wonderful encouragement. xoxox …Still waiting for your book in the post, watching & waiting lol 🙂

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      • You are very welcome. It’s wonderful to meet a kindred spirit out there in the virtual world.

        I really, truly hope you like the book. 🙂 It’s written very similarly to my blog (naughtiness and all), so hopefully you’ll get a kick out of it. 🙂

        If you like it, will you do me a favor? I don’t know if you saw my post about Amazon, but they’ve accidentally deleted ALL of my reviews! I’m working with them to get it figured out, but they are all gone and it’s just awful. If you enjoy the book, would it be too much to ask you to put a review on Amazon? I feel bad even asking, but I went from ten 5-star reviews for the Intimacy book to zero. It’s gotta be a glitch, but as of yet they can’t fix it. If you don’t want to, no worries at all. I will still love you to death!! 🙂

        Thanks again for always being such a ray of sunshine. 🙂

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      • I did indeed read your post about the disappearing reviews! That must be just awful! Hopefully they will be able to retrieve the lost ones soon, such a waste if not. 😦 I have already told many people about your stuff and will be certainly putting my thoughts in a review for you. Anything I can do to help. I am heart-warmed by finding a friend in the blogosphere too. Bless you girl! 🙂

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      • Thank you so much. You can’t know how much I appreciate it. You get my made up “Kick Ass Person of the Day” crown. If I had a crown to give you, I would. 😉 XOXO

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  4. Julie said,

    I swear when you are writing you are seeing me and saying all the things I need to hear, great work love it. ♥♥♥

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    • What a lovely compliment! Thank you Julie, for all your support, and for putting up with my tireless ramblings. I’m glad you enjoyed it. xox

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  5. I really like this quote. ^^

    “If you are the same person, with the same perspective you had a decade ago; then you have just wasted ten years of your life!”

    If we don’t change, we aren’t really growing.

    ~ E

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    • Hi CC, Yep I liked it as soon as I heard it. Makes you think…. Thanks for dropping by again. Always a pleasure. 🙂

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  6. Forgiveness for the selves we once were, and for the ones with god’s help we will become. I like this post very much. You may want to check out one of my posts – Fogiveness, on Middlescapes.com

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    • Hi Beth, Sorry I missed this comment as I was away at the time and internet signal was rubbish. Thank you for dropping by and for your kind words, I will go have a look at your post. Blessings to you.

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