02/07/2012

The Two Voices of Guilt**

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith, Musings, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 8:54 pm by The Water Bearer

When I posted ‘When will we feel good enough?’ recently, I received a comment which sparked an outpouring of my spirit. One of my readers mentioned the guilty feelings of self-condemnation which still linger in her mind even after many years of learning to “lay off” and stop criticising and punishing herself for not being perfect. As I attempted to reply underneath I found the keyboard took on a life of its own and after a few minutes I had written this blog post (I thought it a bit too important to hide in the comment box and not share openly with you all). It has more ‘Theological talk’ than I usually like to put into my blog, as my aim is also to reach those outside the church. I am sorry if this is too ‘heavy’ for anyone and I am happy to try to answer any questions about the things I’ve explained here.

Dear Reader,

I understand how this feels, it took a car accident and nervous breakdown for me to address viewing myself through the judgmental eyes of others, or even the condemning eyes I had been viewing myself with for so long. It is a hard habit to break indeed, a lot of therapy and a long faith walk, yet it still hovers in the back of my mind. That is up until I address it, I now know that I need to go back and read my prayer journal and remember all the things I have learned about myself, about God, about my inner enemies and my army of inner angels.

I have come to find there are two ‘voices of guilt’.

One is the Holy Spirit convicting our hearts when we are in fact guilty of something which is causing a blockage between us and God. I have found usually pride is the one hardest to see for ourselves, and its easy to also avoid recognising more obvious ones, such as sinful anger, lying, idolatry, bitterness, and self-indulgence just to name a few. When we are guilty of anything, the Holy Spirit is sent to help us feel it accordingly. Through repentance of sin, explained in my previously mentioned post, we can be absolved of these sins and set free by God’s love, mercy and grace, to feel ‘Good Enough’.

When the Spirit of God is being nurtured inside us, we desire to be perfect. This is because the Spirit of God is perfect but is housed within our imperfect human hearts. The spirit is desiring to be perfect rather than actually feeling it’s pure perfection, due to being covered by our flesh (sin). Flesh became the access point of our inner enemies when Adam and Eve ate the ‘fruit’. This is why the saying “The flesh is weak” is so common.

So therefore the other ‘voice of guilt’, is the false guilt of our inner enemy, whose purpose is to gain access to us and deter our hearts from being open to God’s all powerful, healing Love.

Our inner enemy does not want us to feel God’s Love because it will weaken both the enemy within, and strengthen our flesh, time and time again. The enemy can’t allow that to happen without a fight because he will increasingly lose access to us, so we are fed lies of guilt and thoughts of not being ‘perfect enough’ in an attempt to dilute our faith and trust in God’s love.

So while I still hear the voice of guilt as many others do, I understand that I must discern which voice is talking to my heart and take the appropriate action. If it is the enemy trying to falsely condemn me then I need to use my inner angels to fight him off, and focus hard on God’s love for me. I recommend we all try this method when dealing with false guilt.

Prayers & Blessing to you.

This post is another one super hard for me to publish, while I have been brought into an understanding of these things, I have spent many years avoiding sharing these insights with anyone, except for some family members and 1 or 2 faithful friends. This is because it is usually too heavy and complex for those outside the church, and I come across too young and secular when discussing within the church. I often feel I have no audience for this type of talk and therefore just try to keep it to myself. I pray my reader  is helped a little by it.

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8 Comments »

  1. Sherri said,

    Dear Writer :),
    Yes it helps. And makes a lot of sense. I am at a trying time in my life, and you speaking healing words to me over the internet is like God speaking to me. So yeah, thanks hardly approaches how grateful I feel for your time and your words.

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    • Sherri That is the most wonderful compliment I have ever gotten! Thank you so very much for reading!! If God can speak through a Donkey I guess He can use me too. 🙂 Sending Prayers and Blessings to you and the knowledge that much growth comes from greatest pain. Remember He has got you and you will see the view from the top of your mountain in time. xx

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  2. Your post was clear, concise and pure truth. Perhaps because you are young, as you mentioned, you feel a little self conscious, but keep sharing the truth. I could identify with every word! Good job!!!

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    • Hi SAB! Thank you so much, I am glad you found truth in my words, I’m actually not that young though LOL, I just appear that way to the church. 😉 Middle aged with a young heart. Yes though I still feel self conscious, but getting better everyday! Especially since I began blogging. It has helped me find a place I fit…finally. 🙂 Thank you for commenting, I always look forward to your replies. xx

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      • Keep up the good work my friend! I was the same way when I first started blogging but it does get easier. It’s a wonderful community. And I am right with you…young at heart. 😉

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  3. viviene said,

    I used to have that feeling of not being good enough before and again and again GOd gives me an assurance that past is past. He has forgiven my past sins and He loves me!!

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    • Hi Viviene, Thanks for dropping by and joining the conversation. It is great to hear from new people. Yes how wonderful that God is good and faithful to forgive indeed. Even when it is sometimes hard to admit that as His children we still continue to experience varying levels of sin as we are being purified, which I believe will continue to happen as long as we are in the flesh. Continued humility and repentance keeps us moving closer and closer into relationship with our Forgiving, Merciful Heavenly Father. Amen! 🙂

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  4. […] The Two Voices of Guilt – Even after we receive forgiveness and salvation through faith we can still battle against guilty feelings. I touch on this issue in this post. […]

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