14/08/2012

Fighting against the Sexual Tsunami!

Posted in Family, Finding Faith, Self-Awareness, Teen Trials tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 11:59 am by The Water Bearer

Did the Baby Boomers have any idea how quickly the destruction of their children’s innocence would take effect when they allowed sexually charged images to flood our television screens? Did they picture their daughters grinding and gyrating to songs like, ‘Freak Me Baby’ or ‘Sweat Alalalalala Long’ or SaltnPeppa’s ‘Shoop’ when they gave their approval to play them on the radio? Did they realise that widespread acceptance of family break-ups would leave more and more single parents to battle alone against the ‘Sexual Tsunami’ white washing across their children’s world?

I am generation X, is that X as in X-Rated?

As I ponder the next phase of my role as the mother of a Teenage Daughter, praying for ways to equip her for the next stage of her young life, I find myself spending a lot of time thinking back to when I was a young girl myself.

Before my parents separated my Dad was very strict about what he allowed his children to be exposed to, we weren’t allowed to watch the same television shows as my school friends or listen to Top 40 on the radio. We could watch the News and Game Shows and listen to Christian music or music from my parent’s youth, The Beetles and Fleetwood Mac. When it was left to my Mum to decide what restrictions to place on her children I noticed that we wore her down, bit by bit, to being given more freedom than we ever had when Dad was around. It wasn’t long before we watched ‘Neighbours’ religiously instead of going to church, we knew every word to every song played on Video Hits, the more risqué’ the more we wanted to watch. We viewed our Dad’s restrictions as a fanatical strait-jacket.

Now it is our turn as parents to build the sexual platform we wish to send along with our children as they venture into the world. Restrictions have had their place, while explanations have had more. We can’t simply hide the world from their eyes, we must prepare them for what they are sure to see. They are Generation Y, so perhaps our focus as parents could, instead of telling them what not to do, explain why they shouldn’t? Why shouldn’t they take drugs? Why shouldn’t they jump into bed with someone, if they feel like it? Why shouldn’t they break the law? Why shouldn’t they dress like prostitutes? It used to be easy to tell who was a street walker and who wasn’t simply by the way they presented themselves to attract the sexual attention of the opposite sex, now that modesty is almost completely out the window, it seems everyone wants to attract sexual attention of any kind and the line between the two worlds has become blurred. Why? Sex Sells! That’s what they say. Sex may draw the desired attraction in marketing, but what is the true cost of exposing our children to overly sexualised images and sounds from the minute they can open their eyes?

While we are too distracted by our busy, chaotic, emotionally charged lives, the boundary lines are being moved, inch by inch behind shades of grey (pun intended), desensitising our resistance, numbing our opposition, giving free reign to the ‘powers that be’ to allow corruption of our virtue and destruction of the innocence of our children.

Many years ago I watched a video series by Lisa Bevere called Purity’s Power. The series was directed at adolescent and young women, and touched on many topics often left in the dark, specifically the sexuality of women in the 21st Century. It answered many questions of why and why not, it was jammed packed with information, honest and open discussions, and completely inspired with Godly principles of purity. I watched all 4 brilliant sessions and the whole time I kept thinking, ‘I am definately going to show this to my girls when they get old enough for it to be appropriate’.

Seeing as my eldest daughter has now reached the age where she and her friends have begun to notice boys, they have to cope with all those extra feelings running amuck inside them, and are exposed to intense sexual provocation at every turn, I decided it was time to introduce my gorgeous girl to ‘Purity’s Power’, to help her answer many questions about sex, promiscuity and the power of purity.

I feel overwhelmed at times, and discouraged by my minimal effect on the world’s awareness of these things, however, I trust my children into God’s hands with prayer and sacrifice. I educate them with my own wayward experiences and all the shame, consequences of those decisions. I pray for the army of inner angels to fight hard against those enemies trying to derail all attempts to protect my daughters from the devious wiles saturating their world.

My Darling Girls, I may not be able to protect you from this onslaught entirely, but I can help you learn to use the weapons available and encourage you to withstand against it. It is up to you how far you allow your flesh to be tempted, it is your choice to look away or seek out more. Keeping close to the Lord will help strengthen you in the midst of this battle. Remember that this place is a place to be tested and to learn, and no matter what, God love’s you, He is pressing up against your life waiting to be invited in to guide you to a life of victory and joy, rather than fear and shame.

“I will help you build your armor, but you’ll have to wear it by yourself”

Lyrics from ‘A Lucky Life’ by Australian singer songwriter Clare Bowditch.

Please view the clip below about Lisa Bevere’s Series ‘Kissed the girls and made them cry’. Get your daughters the curriculum package with “Purity’s Power” included, I cannot recommend it enough! Together we can set up the next generation to avoid the traps set for them by the enemy.

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23 Comments »

  1. Great post! Honestly, I am so concerned for the youth today. Just the other day I saw a PG-13 movie and they slipped some unnecessary nudity in the movie. It saddened me because there were many young boys there with their Dads. God help us!

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    • Thank you and Yes I agree, it is everywhere!!! I would be so much more concerned to be a parent and have no faith that God can cover all the bases for my children that mere ‘Me’ cannot. Yet I still have my concerns for those who aren’t protected by covenant. Praying for those children everywhere! 😦 Thanks for you input
      . Blessings!

      Like

  2. George Hayward said,

    This is one of my favorite posts, ever. I completely sympathize with your feelings. The television, radio, magazines, and even news shows have become so sexualized it’s revolting. I remember I once saw a Cosmo magazine with the headline “How to cheat and not get caught”. I mean, how much lower can they get? What kinds of messages are we sending impressionable youth? You are completely right when you say “sex sells”. Unfortunately, it sells so well that people are willing to compromise their own integrity to exploit it.

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    • Thank you George for your comments and understanding. I wish the rest of the world could see it as clearly as we do. I heard a Dad telling his 7month old baby she was a sexy girl for wearing sunglasses. I thought ‘are you Serious!’ What kind of message are you sending your innocent little daughter?? The enemy has a lot to answer for!

      Like

      • George Hayward said,

        Yeah, that’s a shame. We just need to be leaders and believers and create an example for others to follow. “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” ~Mahatma Gandhi.

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      • So Very True! 🙂 Blessings to you!

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  3. George Hayward said,

    Also, I nominated you for the Reader Appreciation Award. Here’s the link! http://georgemhayward.com/2012/08/17/reader-appreciation-award/

    Like

  4. bardlj said,

    Hi! First of all, I would like to thank you for taking a look at my tiny little blog, as it gave me the opportunity to see yours. I would to start by saying that I really appreciate how much you work toward helping your daughters along their life, something I often had to rely on others besides my parents to do.

    However, I feel like the increased visibility of sexuality in our culture isn’t necessarily a bad thing, rather, an expression of natural human thought and desire that has been clinically ousted from the mainstream media up until the past few decades.

    This is not to say that some aspects of promiscuity and the like have not led to bad things. There is, of course, the increased risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. However, I think the programs you cited, while good for guiding youth along during a difficult time, and doing the most important job of educating them somewhat about sex, I don’t think enough is being done in them to teach teenagers what to do if they do choose to put themselves out, sexually. In countries that are much more open on the teenage sexuality, we see much reduced numbers in STDs and pregnancies, simply because they know what to do. I understand and completely appreciate the purity perspective you are referring to here (as it is how I was raised and truly does prevents many of the harms associated with teenage sexuality in the United States), but speaking from a realistic standpoint, a great majority of teens will fall away from that, simply due to biological imperatives. I want to see those teens not suffer from a silly mistake (or from physical progress in a relationship).

    I agree with you on the subject of some of the media examples you mentioned. Music and film, due to objectification of what people want to see, has nearly collapsed in many areas. As an artist myself, I don’t see any issue with sexuality in art if it pertains to an important message, as art should not be bound by cultural and social standards if we wish to properly express the current society and effectively change or have an impact on it (as artistic censorship is one of the worst things our recent society had developed). However, now that it’s boiled down to an equation of just the right profanity and sexuality and violence to keep people interested and subdued, someone needs to complain, and I’m glad you’ve noticed this decline in quality.

    Obviously, we come at this from very different angles, but I do not want you to come away from this comment with any bitterness toward me. I’m proud that you are talking about what impassions you and helping people along in their lives. However, societies that have foisted a sexual morality on others who don’t agree with it always start to collapse from the inside.

    Thank you for your time, and I would love to continue this conversation so I can learn more about your feelings on the issue and discuss anything you may disagree with me on.

    Like

    • Hi Jacob, Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment in such a detailed way. I do agree with almost all of what you have said. No bitterness towards you at all, for what? A new perspective? You have not offended me with unfounded arguments or dismissal of my thoughts and you have not attempted to belittle my faith. I appreciate that, as it is seems too often common practice to attack the beliefs of others to attempt to build confirmation of ones own. I appreciate you and your perspective and the journey you have lived to achieve them.

      I have to agree, the decision to engage in intercourse is up to the individual and many parents refrain from in-depth versions of the ‘talk’ as it is uncomfortable for all. Yet I make sure to talk openly with my children about sex, the precautions and the consequences. I have to add here that the consequences of early sexual encounters are not restricted to STDs and pregnancy while obviously a large portion are. There are subtle psychological and lifelong repercussions also. I guess I just like to cover as many bases as possible so that they will not feel the powerlessness and shame I did at such a young age. I wasn’t taught much by my parents about these topics either, learned most of it through experience, TV and from others my own age (Not much wisdom shared back then lets just say). As I watched the series I mentioned in this post I was grateful for how much was detailed, modesty was examined, finding a dream rather than a nightmare, sexual encounters with intimacy, fulfillment from within before seeking it elsewhere, I’m sure you can appreciate these points as I did.

      I wrote this post because my daughter herself is overwhelmed by how many of her friends are engaging in sexual relationships and they do not have the emotional maturity to handle the changes it has brought to so many areas of their lives so quickly. She asked me to help her understand how she can make this decision in a way she will be content with, and with as few regrets as possible. I became her Mum at 18yrs and while she is and has always been a blessing, she has witnessed first hand the restrictions and sacrifices I have encountered. She wants to live her life without the pressure of these on her young shoulders. To enjoy the freedom of her own decisions before she gives them to her partner and children. (Yes I know she is a unique kid, how lucky am I) 🙂

      I think the main basis for this discussion falls to true motives of the developments of this world. I have, through my own experiences, become aware how easily excuses flow without much self-awareness of what ones own pure motives are. “Natural Human thoughts and desires” are commonly fed through a filter of emotions and we all know how fickle and unstable emotions are. A lack of emotional awareness and control is responsible for the downfall of the things we have mentioned and I wish I could say it’s ok because the parents are doing their job of educating their children to handle it all, alas as you and I know that is not often the case. I believe much insecurity is at the heart of this lack of self-awareness.

      I understand your artistic view, I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself an ‘Artist’ but I do appreciate art and enjoy holding a paintbrush in my hand as I let my energy flow out onto a blank canvas, I also write song lyrics and love to sing. I agree sexuality has it’s place in many areas. But I wonder if this is too often used as another excuse when the motives are far from admirable? Lets take an example: Rhianna has popular music, good beats, relateable lyrics, rhythms which I actually clean my house to. While I appreciate the talent and atmosphere created, I am deterred from allowing my 8yr old to watch her film clips. I’m sure Rhianna believes she should fight for the right of artistic expression, you know…seductively licking and sucking on a unskinned banana. Yet I am dubious in regard to the true motives. If my daughters view these types of clips I would ask them what they think she is feeling, and if they think boys would want to protect her and treat her well, do they want people to look at them that way, and why or why not?

      That being said I agree that genuine artists should not be limited in sharing their expressions, the legalistic religiosity preventing freedom of opinion and perspective has a lot to answer for, and I am not a fan! Perhaps with art, when motives are pure they can be expressed in appropriate placing and an explanation of the motive. But if it is explicit and without context, don’t put it on every bus stop in a school district, feeding confusion and arousal. I hope you see my point.

      Societies that have foisted a sexual morality on others who don’t agree with it always start to collapse from the inside, yes, and societies that refuse to accept their own deviant motives are collapsing from the outside in. Hence my concern.

      Thank you for your interest and allowing me the opportunity to discuss this on a deeper level. I appreciate that greatly. 🙂

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      • bardlj said,

        Thank you so much for your thorough response, and now that I am able to see your perspective more clearly, I understand why you hold the perspectives I may have differing opinions on, and I respect them. I still have much research myself to do on the topic of human sexuality, as it is a topic which fascinates me (though not one I am well versed in, somewhat to my relief), but now I have many more points to jump off of and question in pursuit of better knowledge.

        I highly agree with your opinions on the arts. As I said, it has begun to be used exploitatively under the guise of artistry. I understand that sex is a great human selling point, however, I would rather hand the film off to someone else before I did something so pointless and greedy as slip unnecessary sex in for profit. It’s just artistic ethics.

        I am glad to see that you understand why this country’s wonderful freedoms are so important. People of faith in recent years have forgotten what it means to show people why they believe something, rather than imposing it on them. You have shown me that people still understand the value of showing love to others, and how big of an impact that can have on people.

        The reason I was so intent on letting you know I meant no bitterness is that many people so often turn hostile when you question their beliefs these days. It makes me sad I can’t have discussions like these with people these days, so thank you for allowing such polite discourse.

        Again, thank you for being so awesome with your post, comments and response, as it was a pleasant surprise for me in these roughish days. You sound like a wonderful mother, and I wish you all the best. 🙂

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      • What a wonderful thing to say, Thank you so much for your efforts to engage with me in such an honest and respectful manner about subjects that can cause wars when they are disagreed upon. I am grateful and blessed by it. 🙂 All the best to you too!

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  5. viviene said,

    We just had a Purity War Seminar at church over the weekend. I’d say media has a lot to do with how the youth had turned away from the Lord. We need to focus on things that are ‘pure’. Let me just say that sex is not just about sexual intercourse, it is about purity of the heart. The question is always, “Will God be happy with what I am doing?”

    Like

    • Hi Viviene, Thanks for joining in the conversation. I believe obedience is different for everyone and none of us can even begin to comprehend the journey that has been designed for another. It would be extremely naive to think we knew how to work that out. What does God want for me? It is a personal one that no other human can answer for you. I believe God was happy with me having my daughter at a young age because He led me in my life to that spot in time, He answered my prayers during that scary experience and she has been the best thing that ever happened to me both spiritually and relationally. Perhaps you would like to hear about it in my post “My encounter with God, a true miracle.”
      While the Sexual Tsunami is manipulating and corrupting our experiences, I’m not sure if I would say that the media’s sexual tsunami is what is driving people away from God. I would blame that on the enemy and he is not so subtle as to use such “obviously evil” strategies alone. Misguided Religiosity has chased many people away from faith in God more than anything else. In fact my own youthful experiences with sex actually drove me head-on into God’s arms of forgiveness, as I searched for fulfillment and found it nowhere else but with Him. Not in a church or a translation of scripture, but in my broken, insecure and lonely heart. I wrote about the enemies tricks within religion in my post “God…Really?”
      One thing I loved about this DVD series Purity’s Power is when Lisa reminded us that the Enemy nor Hollywood invented sex…God did! And He knew what He was doing, we just have to make sure our children also know what they are doing as they head out into these sexual waters. We must empower them with strength of character, inner security and awareness, support and acceptance, compassion and love. Often easier said than done, but we owe it to them to try.
      Thank you so much for your comment and for reading. I appreciate your time and thoughts on this delicate matter.
      Blessings to you!

      Like

  6. GodGirl said,

    It sounds like you’re navigating this tricky territory wisely and prayerfully. May your daughter choose to put on that armour, as you have these discussions together. God bless you in your parenting.

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    • Thanks so much God Girl. We can only do our best. Im pretty sure I would have had no idea how without my faithful Father in Heaven. Blessings to you!

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  7. Great Post. There is a time for everything in life. A time for sex and a time for not sex. In my day I was still playing with dolls at the age of 12. What are many 12 year old’s of today talking about? Sex-boyfriends-girlfriends. What happened to the innocence of youth. I am all for sex but yes there is a time and place for it.

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    • Thank you for your comment and understanding. God created sex but he created it to bring forth life and a dream of intimacy not a nightmare of shame…Unfortunately too many experience the nightmare… Blessings to you…

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  8. kaylagulick said,

    Great post! I love the picture of the Y generation being so that we explain “WHY they shouldn’t…”

    We mustn’t give up fighting this war, for Satan is after this area aggressively holding nothing back. Thank you for the wise words!

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  9. Glad to find others who feel as I do. The self-image of society is always changing based on the influence of mass media hype. Thanks for staying in the fight!

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    • Thank you so much for your encouragement. It is nice to know there are others who care about this precarious phase of life. Thanks for dropping by. 🙂 Blessings to you!

      Like


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