04/09/2012

Walking the Neutral Line Between Fear and Promise**

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 8:59 pm by The Water Bearer

A few years ago, I was going through the toughest time, so far, in my life. It was a time I had been called to obey God in an area of my life that was more difficult, and scary, and emotional than I have ever had to do before or since. I was directed to walk away from my God given promise, away from my blessed ‘dream come true’ and wait for it to come find me again in a new stage of God’s perfect will.

As I waited in obedience I spent a lot of time sharing my heart in the sanctuary of those trustworthy and dearest to me, this lessened my heaviness and got me through many ominous weeks.

I wonder if any of them managed to keep up with the plot of my story very well?

I remember that I spoke a lot about my fears, the sense of impending doom which hovered around me day and night, as I waited on the promised outcome of both the situation and my life. Much of the time I was floored, barely able to hold the phone to my ear as I poured my tears into the receiver. Overwhelmed with thoughts hammering me to give up, cave in, and disobey. Convincing me I was drowning in an ocean of faithless doubt.

Then the next time I reached out I felt elated, the sun shone brighter and colour reappeared in my world, as I shared some small, seemingly insignificant, event that had sparked hope in me. Often I was directed to a reminder of God’s promise, a perfect sign to confirm that all was not lost. I would let this tiny shred of positive gold uplift me to clouds of high hope. I would prattle on and on, in a excited, overjoyed way, certain that this divine piece of evidence was the turning point in my pain, proof that my promise was not far from my reach. However usually, if I held on too tight, my buoyant piece of fluff would be blown away by the days end.

Another wave would come, heavy and unexpected, it would swallow my hope whole, like unwelcome and uninvited guests, dragging their luggage of negativity and dread into my life.

My mood and focus polarised from one minute to the next, like an unpredictable swelling sea. I filled my soul with scriptures speaking of God’s strength and faithfulness, of His love and mercy. I sang songs of praise daily, determined to keep my faith strong through the trial. If I stopped this for too long I crumbled under the attack of an enemy, who slipped through the cracks in my armour, and toyed with me in the worst ways. I was simply blown in all directions by breezes from the spiritual world. It was unbearable at times, unsure if I was even sane anymore.

My Dad was a priceless ally during this stormy season, as I helplessly clung to obedience like it was a lone life jacket floating in shipwrecked waters, I recall clearly the pearls of wisdom he gave me.

“Waiting patiently on God, in a tumultuous time, is less extreme if you can learn to stay neutral. If you allow yourself to get too emotionally high then you will have farther to fall when the next blow hits. If you stay hopeless and low it will be harder to drag yourself back up to be able to cope each day. Try hard not to be pulled either side of the line into optimism or pessimism, until you have proof that the season has changed and God has completely fulfilled His promise to you.”

He went on to explain that the enemy may give me positive hope only to make his blows of destruction all the more painful and hard to bear. I was to remain in the middle, not overjoyed and not defeated.

He was absolutely right, it made all the difference to try to execute any amount of emotional self-control and trust that God was working things out in His own time and His own way. The waves began to level out.

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” (Hebrews 11:1 KJV)

We can get through these types of trials without the massive tumult of highest highs and the lowest lows, if we try to walk the neutral line between the fear and the promise. Realising that faith in an unseen God can allow all our hopes to become reality.

Somehow, with the continual support from those who poured into me with faith, compassion and scripture, I managed to hold on in obedience for a number of months until the season did change. The proof was confirmed in the most miraculous ways. And God did in fact bring my promise back into my life. Only when it came back, it was far better than the version of the promise I had let go of and trusted into His hands. He is an awesome and powerful God, only limited by our own lack of faith, our impatience and our mistaken presumption that He is unwilling to perform.

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26 Comments »

  1. At times, I also will have high highs and low lows… What a wonderful and timely post for me to read right now. We are going through rough times financially, but we are looking for and praying for a ways to make it better. I have the faith that I need, and working on making it stronger each day. But it is hard not to get wrapped up in every little high or to get knocked down by every additional setback. It’s the devil’s work, but I know my God will persevere. Thank you for the lovely, encouraging imagery of walking that line. I needed it. 🙂

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    • You are very welcome, I am glad it helped. Thank you for reading. 🙂 Sending prayers your way to reinforce your faith during these difficult times. Blessings to you!

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  2. Excellent post! Right where I am. It’s like Abraham having to sacrifice his son Isaac, who was his promise. Amen!

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    • Yes that’s exactly what it was. There were so many examples in the Bible that I could relate to during this time. It brought many stories, often unrelateable into a place where I lived and breathed them. It was a huge turning point in my faith. From that day and everyday since I have known He is a God who keeps His promises, if only we trust Him to.

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  3. Girl Please! said,

    Reblogged this on Girl Please! and commented:
    All I can say is Wow..God truly sends messagers

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    • Thank you for sharing this post with your readers!! I am humbled by your gesture and encouraging words. You are the first to reblog one of my posts, So a big thank you from the bottom of my heart! Blessings to you! 🙂

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  4. Ben Nelson said,

    Thank you for the good testimony!
    Ben

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  5. This is so true. In the past months I went through a time when the enemy decided to try a new strategy in my life, panic attacks and irrational fears. I thought I was going crazy and was overwhelmed by these feelings which I had never experienced before. I knew I could not handle it on my own so I gave it over to God. I am so happy to report that he has kicked the enemy to the curb 🙂 I feel like my old self again! God is in control and he will bring us through. Can i get an amen??? Love ya my sister in Christ, keep blessing us through your words!

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    • AMEN!! 🙂 Thank you Diana for sharing that. Your recent situation is so common and familiar to me I have been in and out of that type of battle for over 6 years now. At times I thought I was really losing it! God is so good and faithful to us His children…Its all just a test after all. All God’s Love and Blessings to you Dear Sister! Thank you so much for the encouragement..You have blessed me greatly 🙂

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  6. nature789 said,

    Water Bearer this is part of what I’m going through now. This was the right timing for me to read your message. Glory to the Father. You bare such good fruit, thank you

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    • Thank you Tj, Keeping ourselves filled with God’s word of His Love faithfulness and promises will keep the enemy at bay. I used to sing louder to God songs of praise when I came under attack just to annoy the enemy. Take That I would sing! 😉 .. God Bless you Sweet Sister. May you have much support as you ride out the storm and remember to walk that Neutral line as best you can! xxx

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  7. Thank you for sharing what you went through so effectively, that many others can identify with, especially in your testimony that God is faithful and what He has promised, He is able to perform. This post is a great encouragement to me, especially as it relates to faith. God bless you!

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    • Thank you so much, for such kind encouragement and for stopping by to have a read. I am blessed by your comment, blessings to you!

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  8. Jim Cantwell said,

    God truly sends messages to us, for a while now God has been sending me the following message. The number 316 pops up all the time I see it everywhere. The gospel of John 3:16 is……
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
    I received the message loud and clear, and it had nothing to do with not believing, because I never stopped. He was telling me that I had been asking for much and giving too little lately, that has now changed 🙂

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    • John 3:16 was my most recited scripture as a child as I imagine for many others too. I always thought throughout all my times of sinful living and distance from God that I was saved because I simply believed. However, once I began to dig deeper into my faith and theology I was shown that there are many stages of belief, each represented whenever the word ‘believe’ turns up in the four books of the Gospel. They are like stepping stones to becoming a ‘Son of God’, within the ‘Perfect’ will of God. Starting with baby faith in Matthew and growing deeper, more challenging and more specific as you work through the gospels and finish as a ‘Son’ in John (i.e.Become Born Again). I found this explains why so many believe that praying the sinners prayer is the only required step to salvation and the title of a ‘Born Again Christian’, yet so many often fall short of emanating righteous qualities and God’s power in their walk, & why so many will knock at the door of the wedding supper of the Lamb and be unrecognised by Jesus. “Lord, let us in: but he will answer, you are strangers to me. Then you will say, we have eat, and drank with you, and you have taught in our streets. But he will answer, I tell you, you are strangers to me: depart from me, ye workers of iniquity.” Luke 13:25-27. I just love how many layers there are in God’s word! Each new level of faith gives new insights and meaning to each scripture. The numbering isn’t coincidence, the times we open to words that jump off the page and into our situation isn’t coincidence, none of it is. That is why no one else can tell you where you are up to in your obedient walk with God. He keeps His secrets and only reveals them to those who are faithful, those who will not damage the deeper meanings of His words. Thank you for sharing that with me, I am blessed by it. I haven’t had place to share my perspective much on this subject so thank you for giving me the chance. 🙂 I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Blessings!

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  9. […] Yesterday I read some blog posts that hit the nail on the head about fears and faith. One spoke of how what we imagine can color the way we respond and perceive a situation. This is so true. I am guilty as charged. I often get in a tizzy over something and sometimes my perception is off. But that is because I am reflecting on how things were in the past. Another post spoke of remaining in a state of being neutral. I had to include the link because this was such a blessing:  Walking the Neutral Line Between Fear and Promise […]

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    • Thank you so much for giving such wonderful encouragement for this post. You really are a blessing to me. I am grateful for all the connections we have had, may God bring us many many more! Blessings to you my Sweet Sister in Christ! 🙂

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  10. GodGirl said,

    Love your final line – this is so well put, and so true of faith (and our struggle with it). Great post.

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  11. […] for example, left me with injuries that weakened me, yet at that time God used me for some miraculous experiences through my faithful obedience. More experiences than I can remember, it was a time of daily […]

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  12. […] courageous. I have written many posts bursting with evidence of courage and victory, posts about standing on God’s promises, about speaking up for faith while risking my reputation. I have shared the amazing tale of trusting […]

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  13. songmistress said,

    Here I am again, wowing at another of your posts; I love how God does things. I had just finished reading this scripture before discovering your comment on my blog post which led me – and I’m so grateful it did – to your blog.

    Romans 15:4 NLT:

    “Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.”

    Your dad’s advice is brilliant. I’ve never seemed able to walk that neutral line and, after reading your post, I see where it has been the enemy sometimes bringing me false hope in order to hit me and bring me down all the lower when that hope gets smashed to bits, and then I spend all too much time in that hopeless place where I can’t cope with life and just long for heaven. With a lot of prayer, I’m going to endeavour to stay neutral (God, help me). God bless you abundantly and thank you for commenting on my blog so I could find you. Definitely a God-thing!

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    • I have seen so much of God at work in this blogosphere, it brings me much spiritual satisfaction and connection. Truly Awesome!! I love that scripture you quoted, at the timing is so apt! As Dad used to say “That’s God!”. 😉
      I am so very happy that his words are helpful to you, as they definitely were to me so many times. Thank you for such wonderful comments. They encourage me greatly. Very glad I stumbled across your blog!! Blessings to you!

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  14. Thanks for your encouragement. But I’ve been through enough and I am letting go for good! But thanks!

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  15. […] as I share more of these types of experiences. I have written others on this subject Here and Here, Here and Here and Here. I hope they bless you all as much as they have […]

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