08/02/2013

Spiritual Surgery*

Posted in Family, Finding Faith, Musings, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 8:34 pm by The Water Bearer

scalpel

There are times when I get so frustrated at myself for my sins, when I drop to my knees and scream “I want to change more!”. The Lord has protected me, and been faithful to me, He suffered for me and forgives me. He has led me to grow through my life and I have changed in so many ways, but still I scream….

I am a Type A, Sanguine personality, we are naturally quite fiery and feisty, not placid and calm very often, being quiet is extremely hard for this personality type. Over the years the Lord has been working on me and we have made some progress in this area. However, I can still get going at times and once I am in full flight it can be nearly impossible to stop myself. In the worst episodes I can be cocky and arrogant, I can be condescending and self-righteous. I mentioned in a previous post that I was praying for the Lord to help me develop quiet confidence and this post seems to be an extension of that.

Many of us grew up answering back and yelling our way through, believing we have to prove we are right against anyone who questions or challenges us. This is usually directed at, but not limited to, other family members, who also yell to prove how right they are. I can say honestly that this can been an extremely hard habit to break, and I am still not completely there yet.

It seems absurd to me though, I am a child of God and desperately want to represent all the good He can bring about in a person who submits to Him. And yet, while trying to be seen as right, my actions can be so very wrong.

How can we be a good example of God’s grace if we are so busy being right, that we forget to be kind?

What is the point of convincing the whole world we are right about something, if we have lost the respect of those we love along the way? None at all!

In this way and others, my fear of mistakes has been showing it’s ugly head in more and more ways since my recent breakthrough. I pray this is the Lord purging it from my nature so I can finally treat others with the respect and kindness I would like to, without this subconscious fear poisoning my reactions. I have had some ridiculous fears in my lifetime, and as I have come to recognise each one in turn I have handed them over into God’s hands. I am so grateful that I can now recognise and confess this deep fear, because He has never let me down, He is faithful to destroy all fear!

I am looking at this fear as a giant boil that has been festering away, growing and infecting me for too long, and now that we have found it Christ can bring it to the surface and remove it from me, just as He has done with all the fears that came before this one.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
 
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)
 

Developing faith into every area of life is a gradual process. At the start of our walk with Him we may see many changes quite quickly, however over time I have noticed that it takes a fair bit of digging to get right down to those conditions we didn’t even know have been there all along, generational curses, soul ties, deeply buried pain, and other enemies we may have been exposed to during childhood.

I may have found and confessed my fear, I may be frustrated that it is still coming out of me in ways I don’t find very flattering. However I understand that Christ is the surgeon, if we put our lives and fears in His hands, we can watch as His precise scalpel removes each and every inner enemy, and there are always many of His amazing blessings to reap after recovering from the surgery! Amen!

Praise His Name, I am so grateful to know the love of the Lord!

fear nothing

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10 Comments »

  1. Yahobahne said,

    I applaud you lady Water Bearer for first acknowledging and confessing your sins. When I was going through with the “Soul Ties” and issues with my daddy, I lived and ate Psalm 32, especially verse 5.
    I admire your heart-felt desire to stay on the road to receiving your complete healing and becoming whole in these areas. It’s a process just like it was when God “created” the things in this world. It just took Him 6 days–but with millions of people like you and I, it may take longer than 6 days.
    You get it? The process of change of heart and attitude is a (re)creation! Hallelujah! Stay focused lady, you’re going to make it. You’ve already read how I made it via my letter to daddy and it’s also mentioned in parts one-three in “Soul Ties.”
    Oh by the way, my son is a sanguine. I’m atypical and a mixture of choleric and melancholy. I think having an understanding about how one’s human ways function is a plus to that individual’s recovery process too. The word of God instructs us to, with all thy getting, get understanding. Proverbs 4:5-7; 9:6. Much love sent your way!! ❤❤❤

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    • Yes I do indeed get it. We would be finished our work here pretty quickly if there wasn’t a process. I completely agree that understanding ourselves is the best way to better ourselves, self-awareness is key to spiritual development. Thank you so much for your encouragement and fellowship. Blessings to you!

      Like

  2. Summer said,

    Hallo,
    This is for you, for being kind to others and me : )
    Pick it up here if you want to http://summer4soul.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/valentines-day-this-is-for-you-because-you-are-love/

    Sweet greetings, Summer

    Like

  3. GodGirl said,

    Yes indeed… if only we were ‘transformed’ overnight.. but thankfully we know there is a purpose in the process of becoming more like Him, of moving through our issues (and learning to make the most of our own unique and beautiful personalities!). I love what you say about the blessings you reap after the surgery… I’ve just been through a time of lengthy emotional healing, and am utterly exhausted.. but boy it feels good to come out the other side, knowing I’ve learnt so much. God is still with me, the world didn’t cave in, and I feel so much more empowered and free. I wouldn’t exchange the ‘journey’ for anything, though man it was hard going through it! And I’m sure there are many more lessons to come.
    May we each rely on Him every step of the way… He has so many treasures in store!

    Like

    • Amen Sister! Thank you for that great comment. You are right, the process is tough going but we understand that it is vital to the learning of the lessons. Dependance on Him is the only way! We slip when relying on our own footing, even when we know we can’t do this without Him. Hard lessons worth learning. Blessings to you!

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  4. dilipnaidu said,

    Very inspiring! Thank you.

    Like

  5. Yahobahne said,

    Hello lady WB,
    You’ve been nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award!! Yayyy!
    Go to: http://his4glorydotcom.wordpress.com/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
    Much success in all that you do. Keep on blogging lady, it’s def. inspiring me. Congratulations! 🙂

    Like


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