11/07/2016
Alterations by Grace not by Law
God has been showing me some crazy similarities between destructive patterns in relationships and the common themes in Religion. The Enemy isn’t very creative really, replaying the same tired old accusations in all areas of life. The most blatant being “You can’t really trust Love, can you?”.
Who can say, in our current generation, that they have never heard a woman complain about the things she hopes to change about her man?
Who can say they have never heard a man complain about being in trouble with their wife?
There is an epidemic of families being broken all over the globe and in our western culture this theme seems to be the most common.
Many women share with me their frustrations over the things about their men that they want to alter. I’m sure many of you ladies can understand, we are all sinners after all. Maybe these men are selfish. Maybe they are unreliable. Can you relate? Maybe they stay out too late while you are stuck at home with the children. Maybe they don’t help enough around the house or with the children. Maybe they aren’t romantic any more. Maybe they spend money irresponsibly. Maybe they drink too much or play Playstation too much. Maybe they don’t work hard. Maybe they go to strip clubs or look at pornography or stray physically. Maybe arguments are often and the connection is wearing thin.
In this recent social phase, Inner Enemies have heightened the emotional atmosphere, they empower us women with the accusation, “You can’t really trust Love, Can you?”, encouraging us to become nasty and emotional when our expectations are not met. We become controlling, manipulative, restrictive. We might lay down the law, use ultimatums, make threats, yell, belittle, cry, all in order to get them to alter their ways, to satisfy us.
Men in these situations too have frustrations, they feel penned in by an emotionally unstable relationship. They feel their manhood, their authority, is being challenged, being overpowered. They often hide their hearts away and continue to make their own decisions about how to spend their time and their money, without letting her reactions sway these decisions, in a way to feel like they are still in charge over themselves and not submitting to the control of someone dominating and often unreasonable. The emotional reaction of the women is often the very thing that pushes the men further into these ‘frustrating’ behaviours. In many cases these dynamics cause division in relationships, and at the very least can cause a lack of deep connection and contentment.
Making a choice and a commitment to love someone is not a decision to give up our freedom, even though many mistake this as the case. For without the freedom to decide every day if you want to be in the relationship there is only more pressure to create division. We think once someone says they love us, they commit to us then ‘CLICK’ the magical handcuffs are on. We own them, and the right to demand that they make us happy. This is toxic thinking. Any behavioural changes that are made in this scenario cannot be trusted completely, they haven’t been genuinely made out of love, they are made out of fear and control.
Conversely there are those whose Inner Angels help them to accept their loved ones imperfections. They try to be patient to wait for hearts to adjust and behaviours to settle into a united rhythm. They want their mate to be free to choose to love them, to be free to want to do right by them out of love not out of fear. They recognise that forced compliance has short term rewards, for lasting unity there needs to be alterations of the heart. This goes for both men and women.
As an example, these women give grace when their men are late. They give forgiveness when their men make mistakes. They use every opportunity to try to show love when they could show anger. They choose to give freedom rather than control. Kindness instead of attack. Consequently, very often the men in these relationships are eventually driven by their own motivation to want to do right by their woman. They would rather call and let her know they will be late, because they know she will worry, and they know they have the freedom to stay as long as they want. Suddenly they can’t wait to come home. They would rather resist the temptation to stray because they appreciate the constant approachable love their woman gives them. They choose to do right because they don’t want to hurt her, they want to love her back. Not because of the promise, not because of the words, not because of the certificate, because their heart has been altered by the love and grace and freedom and forgiveness they have received.
This is exactly how God’s Grace works as opposed to the Law. Picture the relationship responses I just explained, as metaphors for the Christian systems of Law and Grace.
Under the Law our freedom is taken captive. Religiosity points out our flaws, condemns us, threatens us. Through fear and guilt, religion expects us to change. You are given no freedom to choose God’s will, it is expected, demanded, forced. Any changes made in this scenario are made without the strength of love, and they often are only temporary changes at best. The changes aren’t written in hearts, only in works. The connection between us and God is then fragile and unstable. Any significant test and it will crumble, tempting us to hide and compare sins.
Under Grace freedom is given and love is abundant. Every day you get to choose if you want a relationship with God. Everyday God gives us our own free will to decide for ourselves if we want to grow in our commitment to Him. When we slip and fall and we turn to Him, we are not belittled or condemned. We are met with Forgiveness and Love, Strength and Help. He is always waiting for us to come to Him no matter how many times we fall. His spirit, which grows inside us, is what writes His laws on our hearts because we have chosen to soften our hearts every time we choose Him. This creates humility and self-awareness, altering our behaviour and our hearts, and builds a connection with God that nothing can break!
Inner Enemies have confused our twisted emotional version of Love with God’s version of Love. We know how we feel when our loved ones disappoint or hurt us, and so we assume God must feel that way about us when we sin.
However God is Love!
Most of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. Love is not proud. It does not dishonour others. Love is not Self-seeking. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs.”
We expect this kind of love from others and yet we rarely are able to give it ourselves. We assume God must have this same flaw. But God IS Love, His spirit gives us the ability to love others in this way. So then let’s swap His name for ‘Love’ in that previous scripture.
God is PATIENT, God is KIND. He does not envy. He does not boast. God is not proud. He does not DISHONOUR others. God is not SELF-SEEKING. God is NOT EASILY ANGERED. God KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. God does not delight in evil but rejoices in TRUTH. He always PROTECTS. Always TRUSTS, Always HOPES, Always PERSEVERES. God NEVER FAILS!
So it becomes clear that the Enemy has been using this accusation “You can’t really trust Love, can you?” in our relationships, but he has also been using it in Christianity. “You can’t really trust God, can you?” The Law, which was supposed to define love, has been used as a tool to condemn us, pushing us away from God’s love, from God’s Grace. We must realise the deception in this practice and accept the abounding Grace Christ came to share with us. Grace that makes us want to grow closer to Him, the closer we get, the more alterations He shines through in our behaviour.
Please don’t misunderstand here, no one is saying that it is okay to stray, to neglect, to be selfish in a relationship. However nor is it okay to condemn the faults of those we love, and expect them to change just to suit us. In this way the Law has its purpose, it is God’s way of communicating to us what sin looks like, as a violation of Love. In the same way we can communicate with our loved ones which behaviours cause us to pull away and protect our hearts. Keeping in mind all the principles of what LOVE IS, as stated above. Just as God stands firmly on the truth of the Law, we also stand firmly on the conviction of our Christ-centered expectations in our relationships. But Love, LOVE is the key!
Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
1 John 4:18-19 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Galatians 5:13 “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”
Simply put…..If freedom is given, mercy is abundant, then love becomes the powerful force that encourages our hearts to want to change!
05/06/2015
It’s Time Humans Stopped Playing at Being God!
My heart broke earlier this week…… It was broken by someone using God’s name.
I had the privilege to speak with a young girl a few days ago. A girl with faith and a deep love to please her Heavenly Father. However this gorgeous young girl, not yet even a teenager, expressed how she felt torn and sad. You see her parents are separated and while her Dad went off to find his faith within the church, her Mum has no religious inclinations. One day the young girl had returned home in tears after time at her Father’s church, she was completely distressed after being told that her Mum was going to hell because she wasn’t a professing Christian. She was also told to remove the new earrings she had just recently had pierced (and therefore shouldn’t be taken out for 6 weeks) or she would also be going to hell.
Hearing this atrocity made my heart break.
I am not sure who within their church thought it reasonable to play God, but I am convinced that they are guilty of something much more offensive than wearing earrings!
I felt a weight on my heart to help this young girl grasp what I believe to be the cornerstones of Christ’s message. Truth. Grace. Mercy. Glory. Love.
So I asked her, “Who is the only one who knows for sure who is going to Hell or who is going to Heaven?”
“God” she grinned. (I think she got my point right there but I went on…)
“Exactly” I replied “And who is the only one who knows which sins God will punish and which ones He will forgive?”
Another smile “God”
“Right again. And who is the only one who knows your deepest thoughts and reads the truth in your heart?”
Her answer was a resounding “GOD DOES”.
“Perfect! And that is why we praise Him and Him alone! That is why He gets ALL the Glory! Because we can trust Him completely to decide what is true and righteous and justice and love!”
I am glad that this young girl went home with a much brighter heart than the one she came with. I encouraged her to pray for her Mum and to trust God to pull her Mum into His loving arms, not because of fear, not because of demand, not because of condemnation. Rather because of her desire to have a relationship with her creator, rather in pursuit of the truth of the Gospel, rather because of her acceptance of the overwhelming love her Heavenly Father has for her.
Even though I had the joy of helping this young girl understand much more of the Christian faith that Christ came to bring, I am still heartbroken. I am gutted that there are still people out there comparing sins, and condemning others to Hell with no authority or righteousness to do so. We must remember that we are ALL sinners, EQUALLY! We are ALL saved by GRACE not by works! There is no way for a child to be ‘Good Enough’ to get to Heaven, it is only MERCY that gets ALL of us there. To put such pressure on such young shoulders is only going to push her heart AWAY from her Saviour not to instill lifelong Love and stability, loyalty and TRUST in Him!
We were all made by God in our imperfection and given the opportunity through Christ to be given salvation from our flesh. We must not condemn anyone because they sin differently to you or I! A close sensitive relationship with God through Christ is the ONLY way to discover which sins God wants us to focus His light upon, which sins God wants us to request His strength to overcome at each stage of our walk with Him. Only a deep sensitivity to the Holy Spirit convicting our heart can truly give us guidance as to each personal step God wants us to take along the narrow path He has assigned to us. Not everyone has the same weakness, not everyone has the same inclination of the heart, not everyone has the same narrow path to walk along. As I’ve said before, God is not so limited that He made each and every unique individual on the planet for numerous generations and then tried to fit them all onto the same narrow path! We each have our OWN NARROW PATH! And no one else knows which way God has deemed my path to go, or this young girls, or even her Mothers! NO ONE!
Does no one agree with me, that taking these decisions out of God’s hands and placing them into human hands is an atrocity against God!?!?
Does no one else see how much damage is being done to our Gracious Heavenly Father’s reputation by this constant misrepresentation of His Gospel!?!?
Christ told us not to be a stumbling block for others, and do not suffer the children to come to Him. Innocent children not even old enough to be accountable for their flesh are being scared into doubting God’s love for them and their fellow man.
God is the only one who gets to decide these things, isn’t anyone else who condemns someone to Hell simply playing at being God?
Playing God is exactly what got Lucifer kicked out of Heaven in the first place. People in glass houses…
Now I’m sure there will be those out there who will bring up our role as Christians to warn others about the dangers of a life without Christ. And that is a valid point, yes we are ambassadors for revealing the truth of salvation to those in need. In fact in this very post is a warning to everyone who is playing God. However firstly, children are easily swayed and it takes great care to encourage a relationship with God and a sense of accountability to Him for the choices they make, just as they are accountable to their parents. But can you imagine how successful a parents loving guidance would be if they were constantly telling their children they were going to send them away forever and ever to the most horrible place imaginable if they don’t act perfectly! Is there no concept of God’s love for us here!?! Teaching children about God is a wonderful addition to their sense of worth and to instill the courage to pursue truth and righteousness throughout their lives, but when it is projected in such a way as to make the child afraid of God and to insist they must follow the rules out of fear rather than desire of the heart, this is a recipe for disaster!
And secondly, even dealing with adult, immature Christians, it is certainly profitable to them to explain the risks of life without a covenant relationship with their Heavenly Father. Hell on Earth is the only consequence we humans can be sure of and therefore can warn of. (I can’t imagine anything worse than returning to the Hell I lived before I grew to know the Lord.) Yet once again, it is only an individual close sensitive relationship to God through Christ that can be certain which steps lead toward covenant protection and which steps may risk it.
We can all help the lost by showing them the grace of our Lord, by supporting them to build a relationship with God by getting to know Him for themselves. To share how loved and worthy we ALL are to Him so that we all want to grow in faith and trust towards Him.
22/11/2013
Are You Chasing People Away?
Before I began blogging, I was disheartened by the lack of people who I could interact with, who pursued a genuine relationship with Christ and God. A rare gem, to discover another person who accepted the way I experienced God. I have a few gems in my life, luckily. Yet I always searched, yearning for more. I was blessed to stumble across many of you who fellowship with me in such a loving supportive way.
Before blogging I found many religious people who knew the scriptures inside and out, who called themselves “Born Again”, but after time they mostly wanted to argue their interpretation and seemed unable or unwilling to accept the personal relationship that I was developing with my Heavenly Father. They tried to direct my path with many different scriptures, expecting me to apply them to my current situation, instead of trusting God to reveal His Word and His Will to me as I walked by His side, under His direction.
Like many others, I found myself directed away from their rigid, graceless, control. I pulled back from their judgmental condemnation of my imperfections or my choices. I didn’t want to draw nearer, rather wanted to protect my fragile heart from their looks of disdain and disapproval as I confessed my daily struggles with the flesh.
How many of us have had people knock on our door, claiming to have the one right way to be saved, the only way, according to them? I have had many. The most recent wasn’t satisfied with my confession of love and devotion to God and His Son. He kept trying to trip me up with vague questions, ones which he had carefully selected the only answer he would accept. For every scripture he threw in my face I gave him back three to think on. Yet he was unwilling to accept me. I was standing in my own home being berated and dismissed by someone who claimed to be encouraging me towards God. Needless to say I informed him of this and sent him on his way with love….. No one has been back to encourage me since then.
Over the years I have begun to understand the reason many people can’t accept our daily walk under God’s direction, rather than under their control. I believe it is unfathomable to many, that we might know how to perceive God’s personal instructions. Simply because God has not revealed Himself to them or just because the are not at that stage of faith yet.
The scriptures often contradict each other much of the time, not every scripture applies to every situation. We must be humble and willing enough to let God use them inspirationally to show us His Will for each of us, at each stage of our lives.
No other human being, not one, knows what God has planned for us, except to say He is FOR us! Only we can discover His plan for us through our personal relationship with Him.
No human, not one, knows who God will show mercy and forgiveness to, or who He will reign down His wrath upon.
No human, not one, knows what actions God will choose to forgive and which He will condemn.
These privileges have not been given to us because we are not GOD, who sees into the hearts of His children, and anyone who claims to know these things is simply playing at being God.
The path is narrow, but your narrow path is not my narrow path, God is omnipotent enough to have designed a narrow path for each and every one of us, if we continue to seek it. He didn’t make just one plan and need to make every different amazingly created human to fit into it.
Enough is enough. If you find yourself using scriptures to make someone else feel unworthy and unloved then you may want to ask yourself if you have missed the whole lesson that Christ suffered horrendously to bring us.
Inner Angels & Enemies 