06/02/2017
It All Makes Sense Now!
So many are completely unaware of the battle Inner Angels and Enemies has been trying to expose over the past 5 years. We ignore the hidden stresses and insecurities that poison us from underneath a helmet of mindlessness. Our busy minds are bombarded by excess, alarmism and dysfunction, and most of us are just trying to cope, just barely holding it all together.
Often those who claim serenity, who claim to have a handle on stress, have actually withdrawn from life in some way. Refraining from deep relationships, avoiding every potential for suffering, disconnecting from the masses. Some have removed themselves from society, or simply live in a state of ignorance. And while I agree that we all need a break from time to time, I do not believe God intended us to live in a permanent state of disconnectedness, only to interact in short and occasional bursts, and then retreat away again. The scriptures say to be not of this world, but that does not mean we are to disconnect from it. We are given the powers of heaven to OVERCOME the dysfunctional patterns of the world. To still be able to interact and impact our communities positively, and have deep meaningful relationships. To not be governed by indulgence and addiction as the world encourages, but to defeat emotions grounded in selfishness, bitterness, fear, and pride…
Deuteronomy 14:2 “You have been set apart as holy to the LORD your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure.” Those words ‘set apart‘ is translated from the Hebrew word Qadowsh, which actually means Holy and Sacred. This infers, not that we are separated in physicality or proximity, or even emotionally, but rather in morality!
In order to gain back some awareness of our thoughts and behaviours, psychologist have been using meditation and mindfulness to help manage some of the dysfunctional conditions which are becoming epidemic in our society. Conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, panic attacks, mood disorders, addiction and more. Using techniques which decrease stress, slow the brainwaves and increase awareness, we are actually able to rewire our brains and alter these dysfunctional patterns we have adopted. This is wonderful news for those who are in the pursuit of wellness because it means we have access to healing without spending a fortune on pills and potions.
For those who are also in pursuit of faith as they strive toward wellness, the scriptures hold vital keys. These patterns of dysfunctional behaviours, become locked into our subconscious, and are identified as the ‘Sins of the flesh’ according to the Word of God. Mindlessness prevents us from recognising how deep we have gone. Therefore Self-Awareness is vital to recognise areas of our subconscious that require alteration, which you can read more about in this post. While meditating on the scriptures and absorbing the character of Christ, we can alter subconscious patterns to align with His perfect example. Replacing, selfish and unrighteous patterns with patience, gentleness, kindness, selflessness and LOVE.
This concept is the foundation for a calling God has placed on my heart, as mentioned in this previous post. Leading me to design a program that unites Self-awareness with Scripture Meditation. I can hardly wrap my head around the abundance of evidence God has guided me towards to support this program. It is founded in Science, Scripture and life Experience.
After so many years battling with all manner of dysfunction, mental illness, injury, and sickness I NOW UNDERSTAND WHAT GOD WAS DOING! He was using those situations to bring me to this place, a place where I can show others how to develop wellness and faith, and how to rewire their bodies and minds. It is a place where I can use my testimony to expose the enemy and to restore the reputation of the stunning and incredible Character of God!
God used my experiences to lead me to become the founder of a unique concept called Sanctuary Stretch.
I am amazed to tell you that while I was once unemployable, and even suicidal, I am now a certified Pilates Instructor and Meditation & Mindfulness Teacher, and have combined those two techniques with the Word of God to decrease stress, restore physical vitality and bring every thought into the captivity of Christ! You can read all about it on the Sanctuary Stretch website. For those in the Sunshine State…South East Corner…Australia… I look forward to seeing you in CLASS!
Don’t you deserve some time out to distress and rejuvenate mind, body and faith under the loving gaze of your Loving Heavenly Father? Of course you do.. WE ALL DO!
02/02/2017
From Panic to Purpose!
Inner Angels and Enemies turns 5 in two short months! 5 Years! Wow, that is mind blowing!
As I look back over some old posts I realise just how far I have come, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your encouragement during those scary and dark years. You, my readers, have witnessed as I battled with enemies of panic and self-condemnation, held back from living life to the fullest, as I worked through every one of those toxic thoughts and behaviours, with a faithful God as my constant source of strength and refuge. I always wrote under the pseudonym ‘The Water Bearer’, because my anxiety made me feel far too vulnerable as I shared such private thoughts and intense struggles.
In my attempts to recover from my injuries from my car accident, and the psychological fall out from my nervous breakdown, God led me diligently through therapy and I began doing Pilates and Meditation exercises. After so many years trapped in dysfunctional subconscious patterns, I began to see some light at the end of the tunnel, but the panic attacks still remained. In this post I explained how a trip to Africa and a calling to jump off a bridge changed me and ended my panic attacks. Now don’t get me wrong I still get anxiety, it just no longer cripples me, or lasts very long. The theory God was guiding me to understand was that through it all He had hold of me, that I was safe, that I could face all fear head on, He was trustworthy to never let me go and would use my struggles to lead me towards my purpose. I just needed to believe and follow His guidance!
So I did as I was told….. You can watch my bridge jump here….
Since that amazing trip, now that fear no longer holds me back, I have had so many new and amazing experiences. I began playing keyboard and singing and wrote a few of my own songs and teamed up with friends to perform them. Through a happy turn of events I developed a friendship with my favourite singer/songwriter, who introduced me to a wonderful faith-based community church where I feel inspired and cherished. And just recently, God placed a calling on my life that has lead to the most incredible fulfilment and purpose!
Well now the tides have turned on this Water Bearer and I am stepping out in faith again, in order to use this blog to support my next endeavour, which I will give the details of in my next post. So watch this space! I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge how amazing and faithful Our Saviour is, to have led me through the deepest of valleys and brought me to a place where I sing His praises, not just in the storms, but also in the beautiful dazzling light of His Glory!
Blessings to you all!
– Claire Marie B
20/09/2014
Joy of Complaining*
Man, do I ever need this post!
Have you ever heard of the phrase “He/she’s a whinging Pom”- Well I am originally from England and I can testify this is an accurate title.
I am not completely convinced this constant “whinging” or complaining is always evidence of an unhappy heart or even an unhappy life. I would like to think it is a release of truth and way of sharing our personal experience of life’s daily frustrations and trials with others. A way of being vulnerable with our fellow man and experiencing empathy.
I tend to be a pretty open person, I share truths about my life easily, but especially with those who I trust and am closest to.
Like many of you, I have been weighed down most of my life with one trial after another. Whether it be illness, financial concerns, relationship upheavals, injury, grief, persecution and the like. It seems as soon as I get one sorted there is another one waiting in the midst to hit me from left field. Sound familiar?
I share my trials, like those listed above, and also the daily irritations of life, such as emotional instability, disappointment in others, offense at the deception of the world system, frustration and confusion of motherhood and wifedom, overwhelming workload, or just plain inconveniences.
However, there is an element of negativity to complaining that I recently became self-conscious of. That perhaps my constant sharing of all that is troubling me might actually be making those around me, those I love most, feel heavier because of it. This hit my heart hard! The last thing I want to do is drag anyone down. I have an extremely blessed life and want everyone to know how grateful I am.
Feeling convicted in my spirit by this, I was desperate to find a way to either stop complaining completely, or to change my attitude so that my complaining isn’t disheartening my loved ones and ruining my testimony. I have been praying on this, and seeking the Lord’s wisdom, and this morning I woke up with the answer!
It came to me like this…
LEARN TO FOCUS ON THE LOVE PATTERN
The pattern of life under God’s control is – Suffering leads to Growth or Change all while abounded by Blessings.
Let me explain that a little better….
Suffering softens us and exposes our weaknesses, so rather than complaining negatively about life’s trials, use the urge to complain to prompt us to “Boast in our weakness” (thanks Jefferson Bethke). By being grateful that God sees us completely and hears our cries for change, and accepting that these trials expose our weakness, we take our weakness to God which pushes us further and deeper into relationship and intimacy with Him through Christ. Whose grace and strength washes over us, giving us a new level of change or growth, plus a new level of faith and freedom. All the time He gives comforting signs He is with us, along with abundant provision and protection.
All this is done from His LOVE! Love for you and love for me. This ‘love pattern’ is designed to pull us into His loving arms, regardless of how ‘good’ we have been but rather dependant on how frail and flawed we admit that we are.
Our positive vulnerability will encourage others to be vulnerable, building true connection and empathy with those we share this earth with. All the while giving us an opportunity to share this wonderful news of redemption.
So therefore when someone asks us how our day was and we feel that familiar urge rise within us, lets shift the focus of our complaint from defeat to victory, using our trials to spread the joy of God’s LOVE PATTERN.
I need to end on a prayer here…
Dear Gracious Lord, I lift up your name in Glory as I realise this wisdom you have shared with us. Help us all to keep your love pattern the focus of our trials. Don’t let our weakness allow this wisdom to be forgotten, use us and our trials to spread your love! In the mighty name of your Son I pray! Amen!
14/01/2013
Life is a Divine Classroom Full of Tests*
This post is very well said…Some priceless insights for all to accept in order to be victorious in each new stage of life.
If we take the mindset that our time on earth is that of a classroom or school, we would understand and accept that every storm, trial, challenge, and difficulty was a test. Tests are given by teachers to check for student understanding and to see whether they have mastered a skill.
Teachers introduce a concept and model it. The life of Jesus on earth, His death, and resurrection takes care of this step (Basically the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Teachers then ask their students to practice the new skill. They watch to see how their students do with the new information and with a careful eye monitor their progress. They watch to see if any are overwhelmed and pull them aside to reteach or give extra help if they are frustrated or failing. A test is then given and graded. Some students are ready to move on…
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02/06/2012
The Battle Continues!**
There are times when the circumstances of life get heavy for me and the depression I have fought with rises back up against me. I recognise that my mood is contagious, if I am happy and full of joy so is the rest of my family, and if I am irritable and low it seeps through causing a bad mood to set into the whole house. While I am mostly known to be a person of positive and high spirits, I have a hard time being that way all the time, especially behind closed doors. I feel the pressure of that weight on me and sometimes it breaks me.
I want so much to help others find the methods that helped me through the darkest times of my life. But I still have so much to learn, how can I begin to teach others? I guess once again my disorder is causing me to doubt my calling, and it is pretty much impossible to publish a blog when I am filled with doubt.
I can see so clearly ways to help future generations live a life of faith and learn to let God have His way with our lives. To bring the abundance of peace, joy and love that I see when I have visions of the future, where God is once again given ultimate authority over this place.
I see it, I believe it, but I still struggle every day to live this life as that premium version of myself!
I believe my children deserve a Mum who doesn’t drag down the mood of the house with the heaviness of depression and the instability of anxiety, yet I have to submit to the fact that God knows why He chose me for the job.
My inner enemy is always trying to convince me that my girls deserve a better mother than me. I get so disheartened when I allow the negative poison inside me to overflow out onto them. I know what damage it can do and I want more than anything to protect them from it.
I have had a rough couple of weeks, with health issues and extra emotional pressure. When I get like this I remember all too well how deep I sank into depression the first time I felt this useless. My accident left me damaged and a shell of my former self. I was unable to find any joy or peace, except in my faith. But Faith isn’t as easy to share as you may think. Faith can hold you tight by the ankle as life drags you out over a cliff, on the outside I may look like I am faithless, panicking and freaking out as I stare down into the abyss beneath me. But I manage to stay there until I am once again placed on solid ground, over and over this happens and I guess I must find comfort in knowing that I haven’t been dropped to meet my doom. My faith has held me tight, no matter how far from calm I am.
I hit my lowest point a number of years ago, in my darkest moment I believed that they would actually be better off without me. As I stared at a handful of pills, and kept half an eye on a bottle of vodka, I thought to myself ‘It’s that easy’. I cried out to God to help me! Praise God I snapped out of it! I had to accept that my illness was clouding my clarity of thought. I had to put myself in my girl’s shoes and I realised that they would not understand that I was doing this for them. All they would know was that I left them, and the thought of leaving them alone to struggle through this life without me was even scarier than the damage I thought I was already causing them.
I thank God that He gave me the help to escape the trap my mind was setting for me. I swore that day that I was going to keep on my godly armour, to surround myself with an army of angels and prevent those thoughts creeping back in.
My faith pulled me back over the edge of that cliff and put me back on solid ground, but I had to work hard, I had to keep my eyes on God, and make sure I was honest in my therapy sessions. I kept myself surrounded with people who supported me and had to distance myself from those who may not have realised it but were dragging me down.
During my recent heaviness I shared some of my thoughts with my very faithful, eldest daughter, she said many wise words but mostly she wanted me to see myself through her eyes, that she saw me as a strong, loving and faithful Mum. She also reminded me of the weight of sin Jesus carried, how heavy it was for Him. How He pleaded with God in the Garden of Gethsemane to find another way to save people, to avoid His suffering. Yet He still walked in faith and finished His horrendous job.
So, if God wants me to write, then I am going to keep trying until I finish the job! I will give Him the glory of being my strength when I am weakest.
I may not always be the best version of myself on the outside, but I find comfort in knowing that God knows what is in my heart, He has given me self-awareness and a way to be able to share that awareness with others. I pray for us all that we hold onto our faith even as we stare into the abyss below, knowing that He has got us! For us to grow together through the internal war which the inner enemy is using to try to destroy us, and to find Godly weapons to make us VICTORIOUS!
In the mighty name of your son I pray… AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!
Inner Angels & Enemies 