18/05/2017

Our Contradictions

Posted in Musings, Self-Awareness at 7:05 am by The Water Bearer

The human mind amazes me! It actually blows my mind (pun intended) to think about how much goes on in there… well especially mine, but not just mine, everyone’s! Yours too!

Launching a new business, and new ministry, a new purpose in my life has created so many opportunities for growth. New unfamiliar situations to tackle for which I have no default setting, no previous experience with. It is scary but I LOVE IT!

Something that has come to my attention over and over again of late, is this idea of holding two completely opposing beliefs, or two opposing feelings in mind at the exact same time…

Have you ever been heartbroken and yet find yourself laughing? Have you ever felt disappointment, yet with coinciding relief? Ever felt like you absolutely don’t care what anyone thinks, and yet still long to be understood? Completely hate Facebook, while loving it at the same time? Ever felt as if you have things just as you like them, but want to make numerous changes in the same moment? Love the deepest complexities of life and yet crave simplicity? I have.. a lot.

The opposing perspectives I am currently reflecting on, are those times we ponder being “too different”, too far outside the usual guidelines of what others find “normal” or “acceptable” (People pleasers raise your hands with me…. anyone?).

And yet at the exact same time I’ve noticed these thoughts can linger in the same space with the contradiction, “Am I not unique enough?” Are there others out there who have the same stuff to offer that I have!? Same dress sense, same sense of humour, same beliefs, same issues, same strengths, same looks, same talents…(only better), same interests, same taste in men? GaSp*

I once had an experience with my own “Single White Female”… She was a flatmate/friend who gradually tried to become me!! She borrowed my clothes, cosied up to my friends, rushed to greet my daughter when she woke each morning, dressing and feeding her before I had woken up, and she even began sleeping with my ex! Freaky Right! I could barely believe it at the time either.

What that experience taught me is that, no matter how much self-doubt I may have, or how many things I wish I could change about myself, I have never wanted or wished to be anyone other than ME!

No-one else knows what I know, no one else has seen the things I’ve seen, learned what I’ve learned in the way I’ve learned it. There may be things I admire in others, and there may be things I haven’t quite figured out how to grow out of yet, but the idea of being someone else…. No Thank you!

The Good Lord above knew what He was doing when He created me, and He knew what He was doing when He created you! He had reasons for giving us the ability to hold contradictory thoughts at the same time! Keeping the balance somewhat..

What we choose to do with this creation is up to us, and He will always be there to accompany us on the journey and be ready to set in place answers when we ask for His guidance .

Another thing I have realised is that both God and I have the same agenda…. to be together for Eternity! To be fulfilled and loved for Eternity, to have purpose and uniqueness for Eternity!

He wants me to love the creation He made me to be, to value it and protect it, to look after it and nourish it, to cherish all it’s crazy, unique and alternative perspectives and experiences.

He wants you to as well!

Perhaps even at the same time as we are rebuking and disciplining it….. ?