19/11/2017

But Did You Become Bitter or Better?

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith, Musings, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 10:13 pm by The Water Bearer


“Sometimes your best motivation comes wrapped in sandpaper” – Lisa Nichols

This amazing quote beautifully captures the possibility of turning adversity into the fuel that drives us to become new creations.

When you suffer any form of physical or emotional tribulation it can be far too easy to become bitter and self-destructive, and fall into the trap of a victim mindset.

We can get stuck in a cycle of blaming others for our bitterness, rather than taking accountability for our own choices, and behaviour. This leads to a rut where relationships and lives remain unfulfilled.

Taking accountability means having the guts to look in the mirror and say “I am Bitter, I Am bitter, I AM BITTER and it is toxic, and its no one else’s fault! The actions of others are not excuses for me to continue in my bitterness, for then I am spreading poison to everyone I encounter! I have become part of the problem!”

See by owning up to your bitterness, you earn your license to drive it. Rather than saying “Someone else put me in this car of bitterness and I’ve had no other choice but to crash my bitterness into everyone I meet” which causes you to stay trapped on the road to more unhappiness.

When you gain your license, you can change the course of your destiny, by taking ownership of the direction of your life. You can’t avoid or escape all embittering situations, but you can learn and grow from every trial. Rather than sitting around praying that your life will change and hoping for joy and successful relationships, take Christ at His promise to resurrect and restore you!

Begin to stand and walk in that promise! Because no matter how bad things get here on earth it is only temporary, and no matter what the physical evidence appears to be right now, trust that God has a wonderful plan for your life, if you step into it.

Recognise the way your own bitterness has steered your life towards that pit, and use the promises of God to earn your license to avoid the pitfalls which Inner Enemies set before you. You can use whatever destruction you find yourself in to be the canvas you intend to wipe clean, using self-awareness you can begin to reconstruct the best, happiest version of you!

So how do you wipe your canvas clean through self-awareness?

Firstly stop holding up your ‘innocence’ against the faults you find in others, or comparing your life to the lives of those you assume have had it easier or who you think are ‘luckier’ than you.

Instead at every opportunity ask yourself “what is in my control?” Discovering that only your own actions, your words, your reactions, your choices are in your control. You wipe a section of your canvas clean every time you come face-to-face with your own toxic emotions and excuses, and refuse to let them control you any longer.

When you have the courage and the character to raise your hand and say “That was me, I did that, my bad. I own that poor choice or that bitter reaction.” When we do this without excuses, God can fill our hearts and our lives with His mercy and grace, and set us free from the unhealthy patterns those reactions have trapped us in. It then transforms our reality that being in any relationship is no longer about ‘getting incompetent love’ from others, but in giving love to others. And nothing creates fulfilment like it!

Then we can stop spreading our bitter poison and begin instead to spread Hope, Love, Faith, Truth and Joy!

 

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05/11/2017

Defaults & Detours from our Best Self

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith, Musings, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , at 10:21 am by The Water Bearer

You know when you have those days where the idea of your best-self feels like an impossible dream?

So many ideals about success, happiness and having things “all together” drive the force of our lives,  but there are often so many frustrating obstacles and unexpected detours along that journey.

Let’s dig a little into two desired defaults, wired into us, that, unless we recognise their influence, we may never reach our potential!

The first is Control, defined as “The power to influence or direct people’s behaviour or the course of events.”

Hmmm, how good does that sound? Honestly? It is the setting for every great hero/villain action movie going, the highest demonstration of power and might. A brief scan of how many of our actions are “control based” reveals how prolific this default is. Even hidden beneath the simple action of watching the news or getting insurance. Those of us with faith understand Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” Yet it doesn’t prevent us from making plans and having an emotional response when they go awry.

No matter how often we surrender control over to God, this beastly default is our constant Inner Enemy. I’ve written before here about our culture of excess control, so check that post out for more factors to consider, but this is where I believe the most violent war is taking place. Inside our own minds!

The second default setting is Indulgence, defined as “To give into a desire.”

I can see us all drooling as the desires of our hearts spring to mind. It’s too easy to be feeling good and ready to celebrate, or bored and lacking motivation, or feeling lousy and need cheering up, when indulgence becomes our default.

We naturally resist and avoid suffering, despite knowing how many profound lessons we learn from discomfort. We crave enlightenment, but do everything in our power to build stability and risk free surroundings. When we break under the reality that we have very little actual control, once our angry reactions pass, indulgence is often our companion of choice. Retail therapy, binge drinking, eating junk, Netflix marathons, gadgets and gatherings, and unrestrained scrolling through social media. Or whatever your particular compulsion dictates.

So many of our frustrations and unhealthy reactions are triggered when our sense of control is threatened, yet through a deep relationship with God and access to the tools found in scripture, we can begin to see amazing changes in ourselves. We begin to attain a new kind of strength, like that of Proverbs 16:32 “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” Perhaps even the idea of our best-self begins to appear closer?

This level of surrender and self-discipline is not something we can force out of our own determined devotion to changing our outsides to appear as we aren’t. Nor it is about never having plans and never having any fun! It is more like a seed planted in the souls of our hearts that begins to bloom and grown from within. It is watered by our close connection and trust in God’s plans, and is pruned by our heartfelt repentance when we know we have gone too far. Our potential becomes unlocked when we develop self-awareness through the graceful lens of the cross, and trust God with the manifestation of our Best-Selves!

 

 

07/10/2017

A Culture Dependant on Pills and Potions (part 2 )

Posted in Encouragement, Musings, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , at 7:40 am by The Water Bearer

drugs

Our world has fallen under an onslaught of drugs…. Both illegal and legal we are drowning in them!

The reason we have become such a drug focused planet is because Inner Enemies are out to prevent us from gaining the permanent healthy mind, body and spirit that God has in store for us. Creating ‘easier’ ways to imitate the types of unity, contentment, confidence, joy, purpose, intimacy, that God offers through trials and growth in faith.

See we take Cocaine to give temporary carefree confidence, Ecstasy to imitate unity and euphoria, Heroin to numb emotions and concerns. We take Prozac to try to control our minds and our moods. We take Methamphetamine to give bursts of energy and purpose. We take Ritalin and lithium to quieten and dumb down the busyness of a creative mind. We indulge in alcohol and marijuana to drown out our sorrows and stresses, and to hide from our weaknesses.

Can’t we see how this is all an attempt at emotional crisis control!!!???

In a previous post, I focused on the medical and pharmaceutical industry, and in this post I want to talk more about recreational drugs. This is a very tough post to write because perspectives can come under much scrutiny, when discussing such a controversial topic. I only hope to offer a guide to self-awareness and shine a light on all things that Inner Enemies use to pollute truth.

As I mentioned in that last post, Big Pharma claim to have all the answers to our mental health crisis, watch this link to see how they are cashing in on the truth that the basic human experience is filled with unwanted emotions. They claim it is unhealthy to feel any negative emotions or any pain, rather than looking at life and health through God’s eyes. They have taught us to Band-aid our pain and hide our secret emotional trauma, while skipping the work to discover its origin and lesson.

While the money hungry are cashing in on our desire to avoid suffering. The true path to healing comes from investigating, understanding, and addressing all issues with Godly guidance through personal development and scripture. 

God knew in His wisdom when creating the earth that our bodies would require assistance from external sources to aid us in our earthly walk, and He provided for our every need.

 “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

He cause the grass to grow for the cattle and herb for the service of man:  that he may bring forth food out of the earth; And wine that make glad the heart of man and oil to make his face to shine. (Psalm 104:14-15)

Yet recognising the weaknesses in our flesh, the problem is that we tend to abuse the things God gave us to use. The key is to use all things with guidance from His spirit…..

Due to the indulgence of drug use in our current culture, it can be easy to label drugs and alcohol as ‘evil’, and for those who have been held in captivity with drug and alcohol abuse, for them the thing is in fact an access point of evil. But for those who have managed to gain and execute self-control will testify that the thing itself is not the evil, it is a test.

Heroine was originally a legal pain reliever, ‘Meth’ was prescribed to alleviate cold and flu symptoms. Alcohol has wide spread uses and benefits, and we are only just beginning to discover the amazing beneficial properties of organic cannabis.

Just as with food or medicine, if indulged upon outside of moderate and reasonable use, the thing that was intended for good and health can actually cause countless issues and become an emotional crutch. 

I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of Itself: but to him that esteem anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost.” (Paul: Romans 14:2,3,13,14,17)

Identify an Emotional Crutch

Those who don’t have moderate control over each tonic/food/medicine/addiction may try to deny its hold, but deep down they know.

  • They know if it is the cause of financial strain.
  • They know if it is the cause of relational issues.
  • They know if it the cause of health problems.
  • They know if it is the thing they turn to instead of God in times of distress or trial.
  • Most importantly they know if they are using it with Godly guidance, or if it is an indulgent way to silence the hidden Enemies within.

It has become so easy to blame anything else, rather than accepting the weakness of our own flesh.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

God does not encourage us to live in fear of things, He has tasked us with development of character, by overcoming all that temps us, all that attempts to draw us away from relationship with Him.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. (Romans 8:38)

I heard an intriguing quote recently, when one character refused an alcoholic drink offered by the man playing the role of Pastor. The Pastor said:

“Its noble to not drink for sure, but then I never did trust a man who couldn’t trust himself with a drink in his hand.”

This quote beautifully identifies the weakness of the human condition and the power temptation has over us.

If we refuse pain relief during a genuine emergency, because we can not trust ourselves to stop taking the pain relief when we no longer need it, does that mean that the medicine is the problem?

If we refuse to attend a wedding or celebration because we know alcohol will be drank and we can’t trust ourselves not to get plastered, is alcohol the problem?

I am not found in the camp supporting our cultures relationship with alcohol, nor am I found opposing and condemning all alcohol use…. I am saying USE is not always ABUSE.

It is, at the core, a show of the weaknesses in our character when we can’t be trusted to gain relief from tonics in appropriate times. It is a show of weakness in character if we refuse all tonics because we blame them for our lack of control.

Lets look at some of the places where drinking wine and spirits in merriment and for medical reasons is supported in the scriptures….. Id like to think we can do so without losing context..

“Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.” (Ecclesiastes 9:7)

Once again I reiterate, self-awareness lets us know if we use anything in accordance with God’s guidance, or if we are not trustworthy. Keeping in mind how easily we can deceive ourselves. 

Paul guided Timothy to ease his stomach issues and I can testify that God has given me the same instructions and the same relief. Now this is not suggesting to go drink two bottles and get plastered, but a little certainly helped. Praise Him He knows!

“Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.” (1 Timothy 5:23)

For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving.” (1 Timothy 4:4)

And as you can see they are not only given as guidance for medicine…..

This following scripture relates to a time of celebration after bringing tithe and offering to God, after obeying Him and being blessed abundantly……

“Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the LORD your God and rejoice.” (Deuteronomy 14:26)

This might be tough, but ask yourself… Are your celebrations are about rejoicing under the righteous gaze of God’s presence? Ask… Are there are parts of your celebrations that may offend Him?

Suffer Along Side Your Brother in Christ

Any abuse is toxic and has toxic results. We must learn to identify where using is not the same as abusing. We must seek Strength from our Saviour and not allow ourselves to be deceived by our inner enemies excuses. 

For those with the faith to understand these things, it is vital when in the company of those who feel it is a sin, to support them. It would be irresponsible to partake in anything in the company of someone who finds it as a personal weakness. Evidence of your strength of faith in that area may cause them to become relaxed about their weakness.

In other words- If you are spending time with someone who has an eating disorder, common sense would advise not to order the double choc cream doughnut and a can of coke and proceed to consume it in front of them. Just because the law dictates that genetically modified foods, saturated in sugar, and other toxic chemicals are permitted, doesn’t mean that these are in alignment with the nourishment God intended.

Therefore we can abstain from these things if they are to cause a sibling to stumble and sin….. 

If refusing tonics helps a companion avoid behaviours they are attempting to overcome, then in support we too avoid tonics while in their company. In the hope that they may find faith and develop character. For our freedom over addiction and freedom above the weakness of the tonic, is not reason to encourage another to feel free in this before they have developed the level of faith to overcome these things.

Be careful, however, that your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” (1 Corinthians 8:9)

 It is extremely precarious to manage these issues in context, making sure that nothing else may take His rightful place on the thrones of our hearts.

God gave us the intelligence and awareness to work out how these things effect us for good and bad, and Inner Enemies have used this knowledge to hide the true purpose of all things. Its vital to dig deeply into the painful depths within us and ask ourselves what am I running from? What character flaw can I face and overcome? What promises am I not living in? Let us not be deceived, the evil is not in the ‘things’ of this world… the evil is in us.

29/09/2017

Pressure Building & Perfecting

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 1:50 pm by The Water Bearer

I’m not gonna lie, finding my feet as a wellness instructor/entrepreneur on top of mother/wife/employee/friend, is proving to be quite the challenge. I am a girl who loves and thrives in a routine. I form patterns quickly and use scheduled habits as my default setting to help my thoughts cope with all the new responsibilities that threaten to murder my creative mind-wandering.

Funnily enough, lately, no matter how ‘responsible’ I try to be or how many to-do lists I write, there is no routine in sight! So many new (exciting) roads are forming ahead of me and I feel my feet lifting off the asphalt. I hate this feeling, it feels like spinning. I need grounding and I know it. One part of me says ‘STOP’ Do nothing, rest, throw away the to-do list and just BE! Another part of me says  “Ooh look at that bright shiny new client who needs all my focus”, or “Gee that is a great idea for a new book I could start to write” or “Wow a Sanctuary Stretch retreat would be awesome”. Then I remember how easily empathy adds more weight to my shoulders, and my other 4 unfinished books, plus the amount of work a retreat would take to set up properly. I want to cry at my lack of discipline and the idea that there is a graveyard somewhere where all my ideas and passions go to die!

Ok so it’s not quite that dramatic today!…. but don’t get comfortable, it could form into a melt down at any moment.

Running regular classes for movement and mindfulness is such a blessing! What an awesome job, right! And yet as things get busier over here, I am feeling the pressure building. Pressure of any sort immediately conjures up memories of past struggles. I am reminded that I am never my best self under pressure. I become manic easily, trying to combat and control the struggle. And yet I am also comforted by the understanding that each time I have been under pressure, I have come out a little better on the other side.

Perhaps you can relate?

Look back across your life and identify some past pressures. At the time, you may have felt overwhelmed in your lack of understanding, you would surely have felt discomfort, as your natural instincts to resist suffering kicks in. Now, see if you can identify a change in yourself resulting from that pressure. Did you change for the better or for worse?

In my own life I see the times I refused to accept the lesson, and how it led me to an even darker place. I also see the times I accepted the lesson, and saw my own personal prayers answered in subtle increments. We never really see the change happening at the time, it’s only when we look back and think ‘Woah, I am really different!’

So this time I am stepping into the pressure with a little more anticipation than ever before. I am hopeful and expectant of the miraculous changes to appear in my life, once the dust has settled.

Grounding has always been difficult for me, without routine, so then perhaps I am now transitioning into a place where I can learn to be grounded amidst a lack of routine? That idea thrills my heart!

I may not be ‘perfect’ throughout this period, I may melt down occasionally as I adjust to the newness of life, still won’t you join me? In the perfecting process? Push on through seeking the lesson, the transformation. It just may be the answer to your prayers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

02/09/2017

Religion Vs Relationship

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith, Musings, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 8:17 am by The Water Bearer

People Often Misjudge

I can hear the whispers, whispers from people who think they once knew me. Now that I have begun sharing my faith in a more public forum, the whispers are hovering… “She’s changed, She’s gone all religious!”

I understand that those who never really knew me may think that I must have turned some huge corner in my set of beliefs, because I’ve never looked like your average “Christian” on the outside. I’m far too open about my brokenness, my flaws are too boisterous to be hidden away. I am much too concerned about breaking curses inside, than focusing on a mask of goodness on the outside. I try to live in the freedom of authenticity, fully aware of my lack of perfection.

The truth is, I’ve held the same beliefs for my entire life. My first prayer was answered when I was 8 years old, and I have felt a unique connection to God ever since. The reason I may not look or act like your stereotypical “Christian” may be because my faith was never nurtured in a church environment, so I find it quite bizarre, that I am now the founder of an incredible Scripture-Based Wellness program like Sanctuary Stretch!

To be completely honest, I like being called religious about as much as most people like being called “sinners”. In fact I prefer admitting myself as a sinner, far more than religious or even Christian. I have plenty of faith and devotion, Im just put off by the picture that those words conjure up. Religion did a real number on me, my family and many of my loved ones, and probably many of yours too. In my history, to be called religious was the biggest insult going. It deemed you unfit for human interaction, it exiled you from your family and labeled you crazy! 

The word ‘Heretic’ is probably closer to the right title for me. Now before you go grab your torch and pitchfork, hear me out. A heretic is someone who strongly opposes an established belief. Therefore, if the established belief is that you must look perfect on the outside, and go to a particular church regularly, and walk, talk and act like all others in that church, in order to be saved, then yes I strongly oppose!

Obviously not everyone in Christian circles are guilty of promoting this belief, many are genuine and humble, they accept that God is working with everyone everywhere. But even still, as a whole, ‘playing God’ and misjudgment is rife and much damage has been done.

1 Samuel 16:7 “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Inauthentic Connections

We are biologically designed to search for a place where we fit. A community. A tribe. We’re easily tempted to change our outsides to fit in with a particular group, rather than to stand in authenticity and risk being rejected or ridiculed. I always felt like a round peg looking for a place to fit, but everywhere I went I found people who inflicted guilt trips in order to shave a bit off me here and there to get me to fit into their square hole. A relationship with God can not be forced, coerced or manipulated, just as with any genuine relationship. It grows in our hearts as we engage transparently, more and more, which is a very difficult thing for humans to assess from the outside.

Guilt is a powerful tool to promote conformity, but the desire for external acceptance often causes us to miss the whole point of faith entirely. We were all made with extreme diversity. Billions of humans designed to be unique and complex, to have different experiences and hearts that soften under different circumstances, can not, and should not have to be all on the exact same narrow path in order to experience a true relationship with their creator. Thinking this way only promotes disingenuous mindlessness, following the herd, which scarily only pushes our flaws deeper within, where they can fester and poison us even further, and then threaten future generations dramatically.

The even scarier part is that when we have perfected our mask, and found a tribe that accepts us, we no longer desperately need a Saviour. Our relationship with God then also lacks the authenticity vital for changing our hearts.

He Came For The Broken

So if I am not “religious” why am I promoting faith? And what kind of faith am I promoting?

My faith walk has not consisted of sitting in a comfy church chair, with a neatly pressed suit, and the fruits of the spirit on show for all to see. My walk has been more like a bloopers reel. From the outside you would have seen, a terrified thumb-sucker, who grew to dabble with drugs and promiscuity for ‘tribe’ approval. A teen mum with a hideous emotionally manipulative nature. A young Mum involved in a car accident that wiped out my ability to function and achieve, taking my self-worth along for the ride, leaving me injured, anxious, depressed and battling sucidal thoughts. I’ve had numerous health concerns, panic attacks and car phobia, I’ve been dependant on countless prescription drugs and always been more comfortable around a pool table than a pulpit. Pretty much my entire faith walk has consisted of me wrestling with inner enemies, falling flat on my face, turning my heart towards Christ for His guidance and abundant Grace and being set on my feet over and over and over again.

Along this journey it may have appeared that I was far from God, and far from saved, but I can assure you that God made His awesome presence felt every single step of the way. My relationship with Him grew as my faith did, I came to depend on Him a little more, and a little more. Each time I fell was a chance to give Him more and more control over my heart and my life. He never once let me down! Every inch of suffering on that road has been filled with intention and meaning. SLOWLY refining me, as is still the case!

I have come across many people in this life, who feel far too broken to put themselves in the firing line of a religious group. Those unwilling and unable to pretend they have the fruits of the spirit flowing from every orifice. I can testify that I actually FELT the fruits of the spirits being developed and experienced inside of me, long before anyone else could see them on the outside. God knows, Men don’t!

Breaking the Myth

Somewhere along the way a myth began to surface in Christian circles, that being ‘saved’ is an attractive process. We conjure up pictures of saints volunteering their time to a worthy cause with no thought for self, we picture hands raised in worship and wide smiles on faces. We picture sanity, health and prosperity, and a multitude of Christian Brothers and Sisters united in compassion and joy. We picture political correctness and perfect manners. Truth be told, the process of becoming ‘reborn’ requires complete destruction and then reconstruction, a public death accompanied with humiliation. It is a life long marathon, not a sprint. It can not be rushed. It is never a pretty sight to become desperate for God to do a work in us. Hungering and thirsting for the Word is born from intense periods of the inner war.  God is thorough if nothing else, He is not willing for us to just sit the test, He wants us to get an A+. Which of course means being tested and tested and tested again. Each time, a new level of self-deception is revealed and a new piece of truth replaces it.

And lets not kid ourselves into thinking for one minute that once we have turned our own hearts inside out and had them purified that we are going to look all shiny and new. Absolutely not, we then begin interceding for the generational curses in our families, and after that we carry the yoke of our ministries and communities. As long as we walk this earth we have more purging to be done.

A Place to Fit

The reason I have such a passion to now share my experiences of faith in such a public way, is because everyone deserves a little encouragement to turn their hearts to God. It’s far from an easy road and trying to overcome the obsticles of life without God is something I wouldn’t want to inflict on anyone. Its one thing to be separated from God because we chose that in our hearts, but its an entirely different ball of wax to feel separated from God because we are too broken to pretend we aren’t broken. Or battling too many inner enemies to worry about how offensive our external smoke-screen is. Or put off by religiosity and misjudgment.

Intimacy with God is personal, private, and often painful. But it is only with His strength that we get through it and come out a little better each time. My hope is that no matter where you are on your faith walk, you feel the need to take time out from distractions and expectations, to turn your hearts to Him and enter God’s presence. That is what Sanctuary Stretch hopes to encourage. Whether you are needing to fill your cup in order to pour into the lives of others going through trials, or if you need your cup filling because you are being emptied daily by your own trials.

All can benefit from a true intimate relationship with God, if they are willing.

Romans 10:13 “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

 

16/08/2017

When God Finds Peace

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith, Musings, Self-Awareness at 1:10 pm by The Water Bearer

I think a lot about the kind of peace that comes from having a relationship with God, through His Son. It is not peace that looks like the world’s peace, it’s significantly different. The worlds peace is only prevalent in ideal circumstances and it seems to conjure images of beachfront massages and drinks with umbrellas in them, or time spent in isolation perhaps at a retreat or a place in nature untouched by human hand. Peace from the world is fleeting and dependant on comfort, or distraction from problems and responsibilities.

However, peace from God has a kind of stability to it, despite the trials and issues pounding down around it. A bit like the eye within the storm. It is not practical to find ways to simply ignore that the storm is happening, God’s peace shines brightest when we face those storms head on, and allow them to do a vital work on our hearts. The obvious way to survive any storm, is to have something secure to cling to, to protect us. Something that will ensure we come out the other side in tact. In my own walk, Yeshua, the Messiah, is the security to cling to, and the assurance that we will come out alright on the other side of it all.

I often think of peace more like a muscle, something that gets weak when we are distracted from using it, something we must exercise and develop. The more trials we go through with God, the more we see His dependability, and the more we learn to understand the process. This presents an unusual kind of peace. It is not external. In fact much of my time spent going through trials is pretty raw on the outside! I am not good at wearing a mask when life gets hard. I find it goes against my grain to pretend life is hunky dory when its kicking my arse. I write it out, I use it as inspirational fuel. I share every discouragement, every thought process, every confusion and frustration with those scarce few who I trust to not turn it against me as some disappointment of my testimony. They know how hard I cling to the truth while a million inner enemies claw at me to revert back to my old self-destructive ways. They know from my history that I will come through brighter and shinier than ever before, once the skies have cleared.

As I was contemplating the idea of this elusive peace that everyone is chasing, I had a brief moment of selfless thought (I know right, pick your jaw up!) I wondered about when God experiences peace.

Over the past 20 or so years walking with God, I have gotten to know Him a little, we chat and hangout a bit. And I have always been conscious of His Will, His precision, His trustworthiness, His Grace, His promises, His sense of Humour even, but I’ve never really had a sense of His peace. Not specifically, it’s more like an enigma. Something my mind is inadequate at fully comprehending.

It was kind of a sad thought actually as I pondered the view He has of us. Always a mission of truth to prepare for and carry out, while watching His children in a continuous state of deception and war.

Think about it……. I’m mean Really think about it.

Yet Genesis says that on the seventh day God rested and looked at all He had made a said, “It is good”. This concept of Sabbath rest brought a picture to my mind, of the peace that fills God’s heart when we take timeout to be with Him. When even one of His children sings His praises from a genuine, and broken heart. When He sees a glimmer of the potential He knows we have. When a precious lesson is learned and reveals wisdom and truth. I’d like to think that He feels peace when a group of Sanctuary Stretchers come together to listen to worship music, to push aside all distractions, to tend to our physical and inner temple, and press into our relationship with Him.

Christ is the messenger, eternally bringing God’s peace to us, and our promised salvation brings that peace back to God. Just think how comforting it must be to God, to know that Christ fulfilled His purpose! That because of His willingness to suffer and bear our crimes, God now can rest easy, as Christ stands as an advocate for us before the very throne of grace. I find so much comfort and hope envisioning that God finds the most peace in knowing that He will be reunited with us, His children, for ETERNITY! That thought makes my spirit soar!

May Gods peace be upon you!

Thy Will Be Done!

01/08/2017

Please Excuse My Self-Care

Posted in Encouragement, General, Musings, Self-Awareness tagged , , , , , , at 12:54 pm by The Water Bearer

So often in my own life, and in the stories I’ve heard from loved ones, acquaintances and potential clients, self-care takes a back seat. Usually because we have somewhere along the way believed the stream of accusations of our selfishness, whenever we disappoint someone, either from critics around us, or our own internal voice. We find ourselves with no free time or energy, as we try to meet all the demands and responsibilities placed upon us.

We then transform into people pleasers, consumed by pedantic expectations, driving us to twist and mould into the cookie cutter shape someone else has decided we should fit. We tend to fall into the mindset that if we put everyone else’s needs before our own, then we must be right. Righteous even!

After this song and dance routine for a few years, it can be common to hit a wall. I don’t know about you, but I found it exhausting trying to keep appeasing each new unpredictable disappointment in those around me.

We are prickly creatures sometimes, us human beings, and we have a knack for taking our crap out on those closest to us. If we are lacking in self-awareness we fail to understand where the line is that allocates blame, and unable to own our own disappointments. Rather, we let fly on others, with only excuses and accusations for the outbursts.

For those of us who have commonly been on the receiving end of these outbursts, becoming a “People Pleaser” is almost second nature. Cleary accusations and guilt trips are obviously things we instinctively want to avoid, and it is often easier to change ourselves accordingly, especially when there is no apology in sight to release us from the blame.

The reason this constant shape shifting drives us into that wall, is because shape-shifting actually prevents us from knowing who we are, what our purpose is, and where we draw self-esteem from. Which is completely unsustainable long term. Plus the inner discomfort is toxic, and it usually manifests in our lives in self-destructive and unhealthy ways. Binge drinking, eating, smoking, promiscuity, and other addiction based behaviours.  Shape shifting consumes our self-compassion and our joy, leaving us with a tank emptier than an oily rag.

If we think about it logically, we only become more selfish when our tank is empty, we begin to put up walls so that we have fewer people to please. Often that empty tank leads to some form of physically illness and we suddenly realise that our illness is a wonderful way to shift the blame off our shoulders, a great excuse for failing to meet the demands of our relationships and our lives ….”I can’t keep you happy when I’m not 100% can I?”

Now be careful if this is starting to sound familiar, because it can become a viscous cycle!

This is a common reason why so many avoid regular therapy, or avoid any serious steps to develop their faith. They avoid making any positive changes in their diet, exercise regime or bad habits, and it’s why they remain stuck in a rut with staggering levels of low self-esteem, unhealthy relationships, and selfish misery.

However, setting aside time and effort, creativity and passion for your self care and the things that fill your soul, is actually going to benefit more people in the long run.

Hear me out on this.

It seems everyone now is talking about self-care vs selfishness, and the difference between having self-interest and being selfish. Is it more and more common for people to use ‘self care’ it as an excuse to get out of doing the things they don’t want to do? Which actually if you think about it, takes healthy self-care and turns it into selfishness. HOWEVER, if a little self-interest helps generate more self-awareness, less reactive behaviours, and increases joy, self-compassion and tolerance. The fall out it seems, is that self-tolerance leads to increased ability to tolerate others, self-care increases our ability to care for others in healthy ways, spreading joy and peace. Perhaps the only negative consequence is that we just might piss off a few high maintenance people along the way. Which we were probably already doing for the wrong reasons before, and I can tell you, that they will singing a different tune when you find your tank full enough to actually help them when they Really need it!

So go ahead, give yourself permission to take care of yourself! Attend that Sanctuary Stretch Class, take ten minutes to listen to that Scripture -Meditation, enjoy some quiet moments in that warm bubble bath. Start that project you’ve been pondering. Set in place some healthy practices and protect your need to honour them. You not only Deserve it.. you Need it!

www.sanctuarystretch.com 

Sanctuary Stretch on YouTube

05/07/2017

Walking in Trust

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith tagged , , , , , , at 5:34 pm by The Water Bearer

“Argh God why? Why don’t you answer me? Why am I stuck in this situation, you know I believe in you! Why don’t you help me?”

I’m sure I am not the only one who has prayed this prayer more times than I’d like to count. Sometimes our situations just plainly well…. suck!

It can be so easy to focus on our sucky situation, and allow our discomfort to create doubt in us as to whether or not we can actually trust God. Trust Him to care for us, Trust Him to hear us, Trust Him to answer us, Trust Him to be able and willing to change our circumstances.

It can so often seem as if we are constantly waiting for God. However, Simply put, God is usually waiting on us.

Waiting for us to look past the discomfort, past the fear, past the physical evidence, look past our feelings and trust Him anyway.

That’s right, trust Him despite our circumstances, despite our feelings.

Perhaps we can change our prayer to something like ……

“I don’t feel like I can trust you Lord, I don’t feel sure, I feel fear, I feel doubt! But I am going to say I trust you anyway. I trust you, I trust you, I trust you!” …. Then Walk in That Statement!

Far too often we wait for our circumstances to change before we trust God and step out in faith. We wait for things to get easier, we wait for the physical evidence to appear less volatile, less unstable, more comfortable. Then we feel more capable to handle the next few steps, we feel more able to trust.

But aren’t we then just back to trusting ourselves? (Our unstable, fickle human selves!)

What if the difficult circumstances are actually our best opportunity to reach a new, deeper level of trust, of faith and intimacy with God? 

So often in fact that is exactly the case!

Don’t miss it! This your chance to discover a little more just how wonderfully trustworthy our Heavenly Father is!

Once you experience this level of intimacy nothing can shake it, because physical circumstances will come and go, feelings of doubt will grow and fade, but God will remain. He stands firm on His promises.

Go ahead and test the ground for yourself. 

You will never regret stepping out on the promises of God! 

 

18/05/2017

Our Contradictions

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:05 am by The Water Bearer

The human mind amazes me! It actually blows my mind (pun intended) to think about how much goes on in there… well especially mine, but not just mine, everyone’s! Yours too!

Launching a new business, and new ministry, a new purpose in my life has created so many opportunities for growth. New unfamiliar situations to tackle for which I have no default setting, no previous experience with. It is scary but I LOVE IT!

Something that has come to my attention over and over again of late, is this idea of holding two completely opposing beliefs, or two opposing feelings in mind at the exact same time…

Have you ever been heartbroken and yet find yourself laughing? Have you ever felt disappointment, yet with coinciding relief? Ever felt like you absolutely don’t care what anyone thinks, and yet still long to be understood? Completely hate Facebook, while loving it at the same time? Ever felt as if you have things just as you like them, but want to make numerous changes in the same moment? Love the deepest complexities of life and yet crave simplicity? I have.. a lot.

The opposing perspectives I am currently reflecting on, are those times we ponder being “too different”, too far outside the usual guidelines of what others find “normal” or “acceptable” (People pleasers raise your hands with me…. anyone?).

And yet at the exact same time I’ve noticed these thoughts can linger in the same space with the contradiction, “Am I not unique enough?” Are there others out there who have the same stuff to offer that I have!? Same dress sense, same sense of humour, same beliefs, same issues, same strengths, same looks, same talents…(only better), same interests, same taste in men? GaSp*

I once had an experience with my own “Single White Female”… She was a flatmate/friend who gradually tried to become me!! She borrowed my clothes, cosied up to my friends, rushed to greet my daughter when she woke each morning, dressing and feeding her before I had woken up, and she even began sleeping with my ex! Freaky Right! I could barely believe it at the time either.

What that experience taught me is that, no matter how much self-doubt I may have, or how many things I wish I could change about myself, I have never wanted or wished to be anyone other than ME!

No-one else knows what I know, no one else has seen the things I’ve seen, learned what I’ve learned in the way I’ve learned it. There may be things I admire in others, and there may be things I haven’t quite figured out how to grow out of yet, but the idea of being someone else…. No Thank you!

The Good Lord above knew what He was doing when He created me, and He knew what He was doing when He created you! He had reasons for giving us the ability to hold contradictory thoughts at the same time! Keeping the balance somewhat..

What we choose to do with this creation is up to us, and He will always be there to accompany us on the journey and be ready to set in place answers when we ask for His guidance .

Another thing I have realised is that both God and I have the same agenda…. to be together for Eternity! To be fulfilled and loved for Eternity, to have purpose and uniqueness for Eternity!

He wants me to love the creation He made me to be, to value it and protect it, to look after it and nourish it, to cherish all it’s crazy, unique and alternative perspectives and experiences.

He wants you to as well!

Perhaps even at the same time as we are rebuking and disciplining it….. ?

 

12/05/2017

Mindful Love

Posted in Encouragement, Finding Faith, Self-Awareness, Teen Trials tagged , , , , , , , at 11:17 am by The Water Bearer

Do you struggle to Believe you are Loveable?

Whispers of shame that bully our thoughts, are as old as Fig leaf skirts….. Nothing New to See Here!

Knowing we fail, knowing we aren’t perfect leaves us feeling….. well……

Ashamed!

We then believe this equation –  “Flaws + Shame = Not Worthy of Love”

LIES! LIES! LIES!

These lies cause us to focus on inconsistencies of love from others, and then to doubt the love from God.

Plus it eats away at our love for ourselves!

This is not just my battle, but yours as well….if you’re really honest.

Why do we battle with shame?

Because our purpose is growth & upward motion towards our Best Self! And every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Shame pushes us down, preventing the growth and potential we were designed for.

We have simply met our opposition…

Because We Are Human

A fun fact of human life is that we all have our Inner Enemies. Lets look at the Inner Enemy of autopilot, and automatic thoughts.

The more time we spend mind-wandering and mind-less, the more permission we give to these automatic thoughts.

Autopilot has a lot to answer for….

But all is not lost, we do have other options!

When we make mistakes, autopilot begins to steer the ship towards shame.

OR

We can steer our thoughts towards repentance and

accept the abundant Grace of God!

When people fail to love us properly, autopilot absorbs their lack of love, turn that lovelessness in our direction, and

we withdraw from love…. all in an attempt at self-protection.

Or

we can side step their lack of love, and move on

focused on God’s love for us!

WILL WE LET AUTOPILOT DECIDE OUR WORTH?

All the evidence in scripture, science and life experience tells us that we are able to rewire our autopilot, to transform our minds, to be set free. Be Reborn!

So, who else will stand with me battling hard against autopilot!

Standing at war with shame!

Silencing the whispers that tell you not to love yourself!

Ignoring the lies that we aren’t worthy of God’s love!

It will be tough, and our autopilot won’t let go of the steering-wheel easily. It has allowed these whispers to dictate our negative self-talk for so many generations…

Yet in the moment we can  Stop, Breathe and Be!

We can Remember the Cross

And Begin to feel that Unwavering Grace-filled Love

Mindfulness meditation slows our autopilot, giving us back some control.

By practicing mindful love we learn to not only be present in the moment, but to turn that moment into our sanctuary where we soak up God’s love, and allow it to trigger bouts of self-compassion.

Instead of allowing autopilot to drive us to seek our worth and approval from others, let’s start accepting it from God!

Practice building that into SELF-LOVE! Seeing yourself as God sees you… WITH LOVE! 

SELF-LOVING DEFEATS SHAME!

Right Now, stop and feel the breath in your lungs, hear the sounds around you, feel the ground beneath you, feel gravity holding you here in this place, try to be so still that you can feel your heartbeat, picture your Saviour’s Love smothering you and now give yourself a loving warm hug from your Saviour and from yourself……

You may automatically feel silly and as if you may not deserve it, but if you don’t try to accept it and appreciate it, the incredible Cross loses its value, and the war that should already be won, fights on.

The trick is that we must take back control, and the more time we spend practicing mindful love the more chance we can actually reprogram our autopilot!

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